My mother hates egg salad. She says its the food you eat when you have to go shopping and there is nothing better. Me on the other hand- I love egg salad. I think its delightful. And yes, I'm being serious. I love egg salad.
Well I had a stupid little random thought.... egg salad is a lot like me.
A lot of people don't like egg salad. They could enjoy and love something so much more appealing than egg salad. I'm like that. A lot of people don't like me, I don't measure up to what they want.
But the way I love egg salad is the way Jesus loves me. He could have something or someone so much more worthy- but he loves me. He could have died for anyone, but he died for me. I'm God's egg salad.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Who is Jesus? (I wrote this almost a year ago)
Who is Jesus? That's something I've been examining. And while trying to sum him up with mere words, I've come up with nothing. How can you describe the indescribable? How can you sum up the perfect son? I've really given this a lot of thought. If someone was to ask me who Jesus was, it may take me a minute or a lifetime. I mean, how can you be brief with someone so amazing?
Lately I've been on fire for God. And living life in such a manner (the manner of being in love with Jesus) is the only way I want to live for the rest of my life. I've been studying, praying, singing, praising, discussing, and all that jazz. But with that said, I'm still at a loss for words. But I will share with you what I have come up with. Check out the book of John. This is where I got my answer.
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." (John 13:34)
So I have this down. He wants us to love each other. And he wants us to do it in the style that he has done. I continue reading John and I can't stop crying. I really can't. All of a sudden Jesus' life made me hit the water works and the tears started flowing freely. I mean, I know he loves us. I know I love him. But tonight I got so much more from the book of John than ever before.
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going." (John 14:1-4)
So I read the scripture above and stop. I reflect and try to see the bigger picture. Jesus knows what is coming. He knows that Judas is gonna betray him. He knows that his death is near. If you read John 13:21-30 it tells us that Jesus was troubled in spirit. He has the weight (and the sin) of the world getting ready to be dropped on his shoulders. Going into this he has the option of saying, "nah". He could have backed down. Or suppose he decided to go through with it. He still could have changed his mind and called the angels to rescue him.
"Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels ?" (Mat 26:53)
"If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you." (John 14:15-17)
"Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him." (John 14:21)
With a troubled spirit and all, he still tells us he loves us. He still tells us that God the father loves us. Not only is he promising the love of Him and our Heavenly father, he tells us that he is going to send us more comfort (the holy spirit). He's getting ready to die for our sins and he's still thinking about us.
And then he goes on to pray for his disciples and all believers. And in his prayer he says,
"While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe by that name you gave me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled." (John 17:12) and "My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one." (John 17:15).
Here comes death, abuse, mocking, sin, and pain. And yet he says, "protect them". So you may be reading this and expecting me to sum up the Jesus I know and love with a few words like I earlier mentioned. Sorry to disappoint you, but I can't do it. What words do you have for someone who was too busy looking out for us rather than looking out for Himself? The only word I could come up with is "perfection" but even so, Christ makes perfection look like error. He is beyond perfect.
Lately I've been on fire for God. And living life in such a manner (the manner of being in love with Jesus) is the only way I want to live for the rest of my life. I've been studying, praying, singing, praising, discussing, and all that jazz. But with that said, I'm still at a loss for words. But I will share with you what I have come up with. Check out the book of John. This is where I got my answer.
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." (John 13:34)
So I have this down. He wants us to love each other. And he wants us to do it in the style that he has done. I continue reading John and I can't stop crying. I really can't. All of a sudden Jesus' life made me hit the water works and the tears started flowing freely. I mean, I know he loves us. I know I love him. But tonight I got so much more from the book of John than ever before.
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going." (John 14:1-4)
So I read the scripture above and stop. I reflect and try to see the bigger picture. Jesus knows what is coming. He knows that Judas is gonna betray him. He knows that his death is near. If you read John 13:21-30 it tells us that Jesus was troubled in spirit. He has the weight (and the sin) of the world getting ready to be dropped on his shoulders. Going into this he has the option of saying, "nah". He could have backed down. Or suppose he decided to go through with it. He still could have changed his mind and called the angels to rescue him.
"Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels ?" (Mat 26:53)
"If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you." (John 14:15-17)
"Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him." (John 14:21)
With a troubled spirit and all, he still tells us he loves us. He still tells us that God the father loves us. Not only is he promising the love of Him and our Heavenly father, he tells us that he is going to send us more comfort (the holy spirit). He's getting ready to die for our sins and he's still thinking about us.
And then he goes on to pray for his disciples and all believers. And in his prayer he says,
"While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe by that name you gave me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled." (John 17:12) and "My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one." (John 17:15).
Here comes death, abuse, mocking, sin, and pain. And yet he says, "protect them". So you may be reading this and expecting me to sum up the Jesus I know and love with a few words like I earlier mentioned. Sorry to disappoint you, but I can't do it. What words do you have for someone who was too busy looking out for us rather than looking out for Himself? The only word I could come up with is "perfection" but even so, Christ makes perfection look like error. He is beyond perfect.
Way too easy to fall in love with Him.
What is love? Most commonly this question would be answered by the typical "God is love" taken from 1John 4:8 (Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love). But the scripture is even more clear than this.
1 John 3:16- This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers
1 John 4:10- This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
John 3:16-For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
John 15:13- Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends
Romans 5:8-But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for
And just for the fun of it, check this out- I decided to look up the definition of the word "Love" in the Merriam- Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, tenth edition. You have to see how great a couple of the definitions are.
4a: unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as (1): the fatherly concern of God for humankind (2): brotherly concern for others b: a person's adoration for God
I don't know about you guys, but I want to fall in love even more. I've been giving it a lot of thought lately- I need Jesus. More than water to quench a thirst, more than breath in my body, more than a heartbeat- I NEED JESUS, THE SAVIOR.
1 John 3:16- This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers
1 John 4:10- This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
John 3:16-For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
John 15:13- Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends
Romans 5:8-But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for
And just for the fun of it, check this out- I decided to look up the definition of the word "Love" in the Merriam- Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, tenth edition. You have to see how great a couple of the definitions are.
4a: unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as (1): the fatherly concern of God for humankind (2): brotherly concern for others b: a person's adoration for God
I don't know about you guys, but I want to fall in love even more. I've been giving it a lot of thought lately- I need Jesus. More than water to quench a thirst, more than breath in my body, more than a heartbeat- I NEED JESUS, THE SAVIOR.
God listens to me, I listen to what God sounds like.
On Thursday night I was talking to my friend Nicole. I told her about this idea I have and how I'd really like to go to Niagra Falls or some other waterfall. This was not something I had prayed about or even thought about before Thursday. But I really wanted to go to a waterfall. I told nobody this but Nicole.
So today (the next day, Friday) my mother wakes me up and asks, "Hey Chris, we're going to see a waterfall at this park, do you want to go with us?". So I'm a bit out of it but once I wake up and have her repeat what she just asked me I was like, "Wow that's from God right there, I just said last night that I'd like to go to a waterfall". So I get up, get ready, grab my bag, and my bible, and off I go with the rest of the family to Cherokee National Park.
The drive up there was delightful. I listened to Christian music and just kept praying short prayers. I talked with my family and really enjoyed the ride. That park is beautiful. You have to drive through the mountain to get to the waterfall. So along the way all you see is bodies of water with rocks sticking out. We pulled over at one part and I crossed a little bridge, and climbed a few rocks til I was on the very edge of the rock, almost in the water. It was so amazing. So we drive for maybe 10 more minutes and pull over at the waterfall.
I get out and as I walk over my knees feel shaky. I feel my eyes start filling up with tears. I approach a small little bridge and my mind completely empties itself as I stare at the rushing waters fall over the edge. The sound of the waterfall completely captivates me and I'm mesmerized. Immediately my mind starts to fill itself with silent prayers to God. I was so thankful. I was so grateful for the experience.
So you're probably wondering, what's the deal? Is Christina a waterfall freak or something? Why was she so emotional?
The reason I told Nicole I wanted to visit a waterfall was because of my bible studies. I'm reading the book of Revelation and I'm beyond intrigued. John, the author of Revelation and a few other books in the bible sees Jesus. And this is one of his descriptions of Jesus:
"His feet were like burnished bronze, when it has been made to glow in a furnace, and His voice was like the sound of many waters." (Revelation 1:15 NASB)
And you also read in the old testament:
"and behold, the glory of the God of Israel was coming from the way of the east. And His voice was like the sound of many waters; and the earth shone with His glory". (Ezekiel 43:2 NASB)
When I read those verses I thought about it. The sound of many waters. God's voice- its like the sound of many waters. Have you ever sat back while at a waterfall or at the beach and just listened to the water? Its so loud, so continuous, so overwhelming, yet so soothing and comforting. And that is the comparison to God's voice, many waters. God's voice is so big and so huge and so overwhelming- but at the same time- its so comforting and can fix any situation. That amazes me. After reading those verses, I had to hear some water. I wanted to feel that. I wanted to hear how big of a sound that was, and then really reflect on how amazing God truly is. It really was a wonderful experience I had today and I'm so grateful. If you've never tried this- go to the beach, go to a waterfall. Listen to the water. Then, listen to God. Absolutely amazing.
I have to say this- the Lord keeps surprising me. This sort of situation keeps happening. I say something, and then the very next day, that something happens. I mean I wasn't even praying about this. It just came up in conversation. And I know this may sound silly but the fact that God hears every word out of my mouth is an incredible thought to me. He is listening to our conversations. He is listening to our thoughts. God hears us. Even when we're not crying out to Him, He hears us. I'm not worth listening to. And I mean come on, you guys know me and how annoying or goofy I can be. Can you imagine listening to me think and talk for more than 24 hours? God does this every single day! And then He lets things happen. He makes things happen. I didn't have to see that beautiful waterfall today. I didn't think I'd ever get around to that. But God out of His overwhelming kindness took care of that situation.I don't think I could be more in love with God. He listens to me. All the time. Nobody else would ever do that, but He does it, by choice.
So today (the next day, Friday) my mother wakes me up and asks, "Hey Chris, we're going to see a waterfall at this park, do you want to go with us?". So I'm a bit out of it but once I wake up and have her repeat what she just asked me I was like, "Wow that's from God right there, I just said last night that I'd like to go to a waterfall". So I get up, get ready, grab my bag, and my bible, and off I go with the rest of the family to Cherokee National Park.
The drive up there was delightful. I listened to Christian music and just kept praying short prayers. I talked with my family and really enjoyed the ride. That park is beautiful. You have to drive through the mountain to get to the waterfall. So along the way all you see is bodies of water with rocks sticking out. We pulled over at one part and I crossed a little bridge, and climbed a few rocks til I was on the very edge of the rock, almost in the water. It was so amazing. So we drive for maybe 10 more minutes and pull over at the waterfall.
I get out and as I walk over my knees feel shaky. I feel my eyes start filling up with tears. I approach a small little bridge and my mind completely empties itself as I stare at the rushing waters fall over the edge. The sound of the waterfall completely captivates me and I'm mesmerized. Immediately my mind starts to fill itself with silent prayers to God. I was so thankful. I was so grateful for the experience.
So you're probably wondering, what's the deal? Is Christina a waterfall freak or something? Why was she so emotional?
The reason I told Nicole I wanted to visit a waterfall was because of my bible studies. I'm reading the book of Revelation and I'm beyond intrigued. John, the author of Revelation and a few other books in the bible sees Jesus. And this is one of his descriptions of Jesus:
"His feet were like burnished bronze, when it has been made to glow in a furnace, and His voice was like the sound of many waters." (Revelation 1:15 NASB)
And you also read in the old testament:
"and behold, the glory of the God of Israel was coming from the way of the east. And His voice was like the sound of many waters; and the earth shone with His glory". (Ezekiel 43:2 NASB)
When I read those verses I thought about it. The sound of many waters. God's voice- its like the sound of many waters. Have you ever sat back while at a waterfall or at the beach and just listened to the water? Its so loud, so continuous, so overwhelming, yet so soothing and comforting. And that is the comparison to God's voice, many waters. God's voice is so big and so huge and so overwhelming- but at the same time- its so comforting and can fix any situation. That amazes me. After reading those verses, I had to hear some water. I wanted to feel that. I wanted to hear how big of a sound that was, and then really reflect on how amazing God truly is. It really was a wonderful experience I had today and I'm so grateful. If you've never tried this- go to the beach, go to a waterfall. Listen to the water. Then, listen to God. Absolutely amazing.
I have to say this- the Lord keeps surprising me. This sort of situation keeps happening. I say something, and then the very next day, that something happens. I mean I wasn't even praying about this. It just came up in conversation. And I know this may sound silly but the fact that God hears every word out of my mouth is an incredible thought to me. He is listening to our conversations. He is listening to our thoughts. God hears us. Even when we're not crying out to Him, He hears us. I'm not worth listening to. And I mean come on, you guys know me and how annoying or goofy I can be. Can you imagine listening to me think and talk for more than 24 hours? God does this every single day! And then He lets things happen. He makes things happen. I didn't have to see that beautiful waterfall today. I didn't think I'd ever get around to that. But God out of His overwhelming kindness took care of that situation.I don't think I could be more in love with God. He listens to me. All the time. Nobody else would ever do that, but He does it, by choice.
I want my first love back.
I’ve been studying Revelation and I’ve come across this message that I feel needs to be shared with everyone. We can really learn a lot from the church in Ephesus. And right now... I want my first love back.
"To the angel of the church in Ephesus write: The One who holds the seven stars in His right hand, the One who walks among the seven golden lampstands, says this: ’I know your deeds and your toil and perseverance, and that you cannot tolerate evil men, and you put to the test those who call themselves apostles, and they are not, and you found them to be false; and you have perseverance and have endured for My name’s sake, and have not grown weary. But I have this against you, that you have left your first love." (Revelation 2:1-4)
This scripture is part of a letter to a church that was a very real place, but we can all learn from this church and what God had to say about it. I like how God writes letters. Look at what He says. He starts off by acknowledging their commitment to revealing truth. They’re not going to tolerate wicked men. And they’re testing all who present themselves as prophets. I love how God points out that He sees their good works.
But then he moves on to say "you have left your first love". But what is that first love Jesus is talking about?
I mean its easy to speculate what exactly it was that Jesus was talking about. My first love? Hmmm... it would probably be this boy named Brett from the first grade that I sat near in class. He made first grade funny with his cool erasers and tshirts with sharks on them. Ahh memories..
No that can’t be it. Why would God care about the status of my first grade crush?What about the first time I really experienced love? What about those times spent dating and just thinking about that special someone? Could that be the love Jesus was talking about? Of course not. It just doesn't make sense. Not everyone has even experienced that.
So if this isn't a personal first love that everyone has had or dealt with, then it must be a biblical first love. That word "first" must not mean a love that came in a certain order, but a love that holds priority or ranking.
So where does that leave us? What is that first love?
"Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?" And He said to him, YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND- This is the great and FOREMOST commandment" (Matthew 22:36-38)
So there it is- that first love is the love of God. Putting God first on your list of priorities. Now did they stop loving God? Obviously not. They wouldn't carry on with investigating false prophets and persevering through all the problems that the church of Ephesus was dealing with (strange doctrines, wolves holding positions in the ministry just to name a couple) if they didn't love God. They obviously loved God, but they weren't putting Him first. Jesus wasn't number one in their lives. Doctrine was.
Upon reading this I couldn't help but break down and cry. Where is God on my list? Is He number one? Has He ever been number one?I mean when I first got saved I was constantly reading my bible. I took so many notes and killed my pink highlighter by using it on just about every single page of my bible. I would listen to a sermon or even a Relient K CD and just cry when I reflected how how intense my love for God was. I was at work at least 3 nights a week. I had prayer lists going. I prayed for anything and everything. I would pray when I heard an ambulance go by, "Dear Lord please let that person be ok. If they’re not ok and they are going to pass I pray that they come to know you before leaving this world". I would watch the news and just shake my head and pray. I felt so much more guilt when I sinned. I felt guilt when anybody sinned. I watched an episode of "SpongeBob Square Pants" and I had the thought, "oh man I wish SpongeBob would repent of his sins. He should just be honest with Patrick". I mean I know this is a bit extreme (and comical even), but that's where I was 2 years ago. God consumed my every thought. I was so in love. That focus and excitement, that true intense love consumed me. I was crazy for God.
So what happened since then? I let theology take over. Sure I have a much stronger knowledge of good and bad doctrine- but what does that leave me with? My knowledge didn't die for me. My knowledge didn't cover my sins. Jesus did that. And here I sit, realizing that I’ve had a bit of a falling away from God. I haven't left God. But I pushed Him down on my list. I’ve lost that intense love.
"If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing." (1 Corinthians 13:1-3).
I mean it doesn't get more clear than that. I can have all the knowledge in the world, I can know a million doctrines inside and out- but it all adds up to nothing. And here is the scary part- I know I can’t be alone with this thought. To anyone that is reading this, I urge you to examine yourself. Is God number 1 on your list? Is Jesus that thought that makes you smile upon waking up? Is everything you do centered around the Lord? Or like me have you put doctrine first? Have you put knowledge first? Has that intensity left you? And if you are like me- what are you going to do about it? You’re left with this guilt that hurts and cuts you deep. How could I let this happen? Jesus I am so sorry. I didn't even realize this was going on. And I’m just so thankful for next thing you said in this letter...
"Therefore remember from where you have fallen, and repent and do the deeds you did at first; or else I am coming to you and will remove your lampstand out of its place- unless you repent" (Revelation 2:5)
To back up just a bit- that lampstand Jesus is talking about is our church.
"...the seven lampstands are the seven churches" (Revelation 1:20)
Jesus said that He is more than willing to work with us. He said He wants us to to repent and do those deeds we did at first, those deeds that consumed our lives upon receiving salvation. But if we don’t repent? What happens? He made it pretty clear- we lose our church. Does that mean we lose our salvation? No. But we lose that source of light to the world. We lose that shine that reaches out to the community of the lost that need to hear the gospel just as badly as we did.
"If we confess our sins He is faithful and righteous to forgive us and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1John 1:9).
I don’t want to be like the church of Ephesus. I don’t want my church to be taken away. I want to repent and change quickly. How great is our God? How great is Someone that took our place on our cross? How great is Someone that is willing to look past our own little ego trips and tell us to shape up? I don’t know about you guys but this week and for the rest of my life I want, or need even, to fall in love with Jesus Christ more and more every single day. I only pray that I can encourage you to do the same.
"To the angel of the church in Ephesus write: The One who holds the seven stars in His right hand, the One who walks among the seven golden lampstands, says this: ’I know your deeds and your toil and perseverance, and that you cannot tolerate evil men, and you put to the test those who call themselves apostles, and they are not, and you found them to be false; and you have perseverance and have endured for My name’s sake, and have not grown weary. But I have this against you, that you have left your first love." (Revelation 2:1-4)
This scripture is part of a letter to a church that was a very real place, but we can all learn from this church and what God had to say about it. I like how God writes letters. Look at what He says. He starts off by acknowledging their commitment to revealing truth. They’re not going to tolerate wicked men. And they’re testing all who present themselves as prophets. I love how God points out that He sees their good works.
But then he moves on to say "you have left your first love". But what is that first love Jesus is talking about?
I mean its easy to speculate what exactly it was that Jesus was talking about. My first love? Hmmm... it would probably be this boy named Brett from the first grade that I sat near in class. He made first grade funny with his cool erasers and tshirts with sharks on them. Ahh memories..
No that can’t be it. Why would God care about the status of my first grade crush?What about the first time I really experienced love? What about those times spent dating and just thinking about that special someone? Could that be the love Jesus was talking about? Of course not. It just doesn't make sense. Not everyone has even experienced that.
So if this isn't a personal first love that everyone has had or dealt with, then it must be a biblical first love. That word "first" must not mean a love that came in a certain order, but a love that holds priority or ranking.
So where does that leave us? What is that first love?
"Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?" And He said to him, YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND- This is the great and FOREMOST commandment" (Matthew 22:36-38)
So there it is- that first love is the love of God. Putting God first on your list of priorities. Now did they stop loving God? Obviously not. They wouldn't carry on with investigating false prophets and persevering through all the problems that the church of Ephesus was dealing with (strange doctrines, wolves holding positions in the ministry just to name a couple) if they didn't love God. They obviously loved God, but they weren't putting Him first. Jesus wasn't number one in their lives. Doctrine was.
Upon reading this I couldn't help but break down and cry. Where is God on my list? Is He number one? Has He ever been number one?I mean when I first got saved I was constantly reading my bible. I took so many notes and killed my pink highlighter by using it on just about every single page of my bible. I would listen to a sermon or even a Relient K CD and just cry when I reflected how how intense my love for God was. I was at work at least 3 nights a week. I had prayer lists going. I prayed for anything and everything. I would pray when I heard an ambulance go by, "Dear Lord please let that person be ok. If they’re not ok and they are going to pass I pray that they come to know you before leaving this world". I would watch the news and just shake my head and pray. I felt so much more guilt when I sinned. I felt guilt when anybody sinned. I watched an episode of "SpongeBob Square Pants" and I had the thought, "oh man I wish SpongeBob would repent of his sins. He should just be honest with Patrick". I mean I know this is a bit extreme (and comical even), but that's where I was 2 years ago. God consumed my every thought. I was so in love. That focus and excitement, that true intense love consumed me. I was crazy for God.
So what happened since then? I let theology take over. Sure I have a much stronger knowledge of good and bad doctrine- but what does that leave me with? My knowledge didn't die for me. My knowledge didn't cover my sins. Jesus did that. And here I sit, realizing that I’ve had a bit of a falling away from God. I haven't left God. But I pushed Him down on my list. I’ve lost that intense love.
"If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing." (1 Corinthians 13:1-3).
I mean it doesn't get more clear than that. I can have all the knowledge in the world, I can know a million doctrines inside and out- but it all adds up to nothing. And here is the scary part- I know I can’t be alone with this thought. To anyone that is reading this, I urge you to examine yourself. Is God number 1 on your list? Is Jesus that thought that makes you smile upon waking up? Is everything you do centered around the Lord? Or like me have you put doctrine first? Have you put knowledge first? Has that intensity left you? And if you are like me- what are you going to do about it? You’re left with this guilt that hurts and cuts you deep. How could I let this happen? Jesus I am so sorry. I didn't even realize this was going on. And I’m just so thankful for next thing you said in this letter...
"Therefore remember from where you have fallen, and repent and do the deeds you did at first; or else I am coming to you and will remove your lampstand out of its place- unless you repent" (Revelation 2:5)
To back up just a bit- that lampstand Jesus is talking about is our church.
"...the seven lampstands are the seven churches" (Revelation 1:20)
Jesus said that He is more than willing to work with us. He said He wants us to to repent and do those deeds we did at first, those deeds that consumed our lives upon receiving salvation. But if we don’t repent? What happens? He made it pretty clear- we lose our church. Does that mean we lose our salvation? No. But we lose that source of light to the world. We lose that shine that reaches out to the community of the lost that need to hear the gospel just as badly as we did.
"If we confess our sins He is faithful and righteous to forgive us and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1John 1:9).
I don’t want to be like the church of Ephesus. I don’t want my church to be taken away. I want to repent and change quickly. How great is our God? How great is Someone that took our place on our cross? How great is Someone that is willing to look past our own little ego trips and tell us to shape up? I don’t know about you guys but this week and for the rest of my life I want, or need even, to fall in love with Jesus Christ more and more every single day. I only pray that I can encourage you to do the same.
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