Women's Ministry Dropout. Yup.

I'm a "women's ministry dropout." My good friend Cindy coined this term when I told her that I usually try to avoid programs that are specifically aimmed at women. But being honest, I think dropout implies that I was once heavily involved in a women's ministry. I've never been very involved with these types of programs. I've went to one service that was for females only, and caught maybe the last 5 minutes of another women's gathering. Now I have no issue with those of you that enjoy these types of programs. Perhaps one day I will enjoy them as well. But at the moment I'd rather be the "dropout."

Why do I dislike women's ministries? Well for a number of reasons really. The main reason- I don't fit in. I mean yes, I meet the general qualification- I am a female. But I feel as if these programs usually exclude single, childless women. So here is a small list of reasons that explain my issue with programs aimmed at women specifcially:

1. I'm single.

These programs are great for married women. We can sit around and talk about our marriages. We can share advice and prayers about how to build a strong, happy, and healthy marriage. We can share funny or heart-warming stories about our significant other. We can even watch "Fireproof" again! It's not that I have a problem with any of these things. All of these things are lovely. But as an unmarried, single woman- I just feel very out of place. I don't have a story about my husband, I don't have a marriage that needs advice, and Kirk Cameron's love dare doesn't mean anything to me. I appreciate the advice. Maybe one day I'll marry, and I'll be able to apply what I've learned. But at the moment marriage doesn't seem to be in my future. If it turns out that I am to be single for the rest of my life (which I hope is not the case), you could imagine that these types of gatherings wouldn't be the most pleasant thing for someone that is not happy with being single.

2. I'm not a Mom.

Women's ministries are great for mothers. All-female gatherings are a great place to learn from other mothers, sell items for your child's fundraiser at school, reflect on motherhood, or even share photos of your little angels. They could even provide Mom with some much needed fellowship or me-time. Again, all of these things are lovely. But since I don't have children, I can't help but feel a little out of place. Sure, I'll look at your photo album of little Tommy's camping trip. And yes, I'd love to hear about Suzie's ballet recital. I just don't have anything to contribute when it comes to the topic of children.

3. I can't cook.

Cooking up a storm and swapping recipes are the norm for a lot of women's programs. Food is good and I'm always cool with trying something delicious. But I really can't contribute anything when it comes to spending time in the kitchen. Seeing reasons 1 and 2, you could probably guess that I'm not much of a cook. I'm the type of girl that is thrilled with Ramen noodles or oatmeal. That is the extent of my culinary skills. So unless you'd like me to boil the water for the noodles, I'm afraid I won't be of much assistance. But if the cooking was for a good cause like raising money for the Church, or feeding the hungry- I'm ready to put on my appron and turn those Ramen noodles into gourmet Ramen noodles. I'm just not of much use when it comes to cooking simply for the sake of cooking.

4. When it comes to arts and crafts, I'm no Martha Stewart.

This reason is probably the one that I'm the least worried about. I enjoy being creative and making cute little things. I love craft stores, I love craft supplies, and hot glue guns are fun! I just can't sew, knit, or anything like that. But I can honestly say I've never made anything impressive. If we were to make these things and sell them as a fundraiser, I'd try my best. I'm not really against the idea of making stuff. It can be fun. It's just not my first pick when given a list of activities.

5. Theology, please?

Reason number 5 isn't a complaint really. I'm sure there are women's bible studies that are filled with God-honoring theology. I'm actually the type of person that gets excited about studying and discussing the Word. In fact, I'd love to find a Bible study that offers this type of commitment to the Scriptures. But I'll just throw this out there- just because we're female doesn't mean we have to discuss the roles of a wife or the book of Esther, again. We don't always have to focus on gender specific issues, of females in the Bible. Let's be real with our approach to Bible study and view it as a whole, not as something we should pick apart because something seems especially girly.

I recognize that ministry is not about me, but about serving others. So I hope whoever reads this can recognize that when it comes down to serving others I will always do my best to step up. My aim was to specifically address the non-serving aspects. Now after sharing a few of these reasons with Cindy, she said something along the lines of "Well the younger women are supposed to learn from the older women." I absolutely agree with this statement. There is a wealth of wisdom that can be passed down from the elder women to the younger women and I hope to receive these things and use them to glorify God. But I'd like to take a look at the Scripture I think Cindy was refering to:

Tit 2:3-5 "Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, (4) and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, (5) to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled."

Now of course there are things listed that I could learn from older women in a women's ministry: that which is good, self-control, purity, working at home, kindness, and many other things that are not listed. But from this verse I'd gather that the general idea was that the younger women receiving the instruction were married since it does say "...train the young women to love their husbands and children...[and to be] submissive to their own husbands..."

Funny thought though- sometimes God takes what you've thought or said and turns it around on you. How funny would it be to find myself married, raising children, cooking up a storm, sewing quilts and reading about Esther sometime in the future? But for the time being, I'll remain a "women's ministry dropout."