Resolutions/Goals for 2013

1.Break my web addiction:
Last year I spent way too much time on the web. Most of my internet use is for social/communication purposes. Facebook alone probably held the largest portion of my time. This is hypocritical in the highest degree for me because I have a poem called “The Theology of Technology” where I address the problem with the idol we make of media/technology. I can no longer recite this poem if I can’t limit my web usage. Being in school requires I use my computer to put together presentations, type papers, do research, and communicate via email so I won’t be able to stop using my computer altogether, nor do I want to. I know that the gift of technology is great if used in both a proper context and moderation. I just have to learn to limit myself.

2.Stop Missing Church:
Last year I missed a lot of Church once school started. Or when I did go to Church it was at a new Church with friends from school. I wasn’t very settled or focused. This year I’d like to be consistent in my Church attendance at my home Church.

3.Go on a Cruise:
One of my best friends went on a Cruise last summer and had the best time. She had invited me but I was unable to afford it at the time. I’d like to save up this year and go with my friend this summer.

4.Get Arms like Michelle Obama’s:
I hate my arms! They’re so ugly to me. I’ve been losing weight but my arms are an area that needs much toning. I hope to get this part of my body in shape.

5.Get a tan:
I’m tired of being so pale. Last summer I went camping with the youth group. We were at the lake, enjoying our day. This was the only day that had clear weather while we were camping. I wore my bathing suit and didn’t bother with sunblock. Major mistake. Later that evening I was freezing, teeth chattering, and had an awful headache. The next day my face was bright red. When I got home I realized my shoulders and back had blistered. Then I had the fun of waiting for my burn to start peeling. It was painful, unattractive, and unpleasant. I’ve been reading about the best way I could get a tan without burning so I want to try these methods.

6.Poetry Crew:
While at school I’ve had the privilege of meeting some very nice guys that perform spoken word poetry. I’d like to form a group of us that would be interested in putting on different events, speaking at open mic competitions, traveling to different Churches, and speaking to youth groups. The guys and I are supposed to have a meeting once school starts to see where everyone stands and pray about things.

7.Record a video:
Last semester I shared my poetry a lot. 3 open mic events, at Church, class devotionals, or randomly on campus. I was frequently asked if I had any of my work on YouTube. The answer is “no” but there are 2 videos of me on Facebook (requiring you to be my friend to view them). I’d like to get my work on YouTube but I want to be happy with the video. I don’t know how to film or edit anything impressive and I want to make sure I pursue this poetry project carefully. As of right now it looks like a friend of mine at school may be recording a quality video for me and if it turns out nicely, I hope to get my stuff on YouTube.

8.Make more female friends or focus more on the female friendships I have:
God has blessed me with some awesome guy friends. Whether back home in MD (Eric), at my Church (Joel, Jared, Adam), or here at school (Royce, Tanner) - my guys are the best. But I realized this past semester that I really have a small handful of female friends and I don’t get to hang out with them enough. It would be really nice to have more female friends in my life that can appreciate the little things with me (like chick flicks or my appreciation for Ryan Gosling).

9.Weight loss:
Always. I’m so tired of this being a goal. I lost a bit last year. Not enough though. Once school starts I’m going to return to the gym and try to adopt some healthy eating habits. I want to look good for that cruise I mentioned earlier.

10.Go on a date:
Ok so my year of being single ended on October 31st, 2012. I am now free to date. So I’d like to go on a date. I have a friend that seems to think I’m scared of relationships because I’ve decided not to pursue potential relationships with a couple of guys that have asked me out. I’d like to prove my friend wrong and go on a date this year.

But I do have a couple rules:
1. The guy has to ask me out. I refuse to ask a guy out.
2. I have to be friends with him before the date. I don’t want to go out with a stranger. That’s just weird to me.

11.Look more like Jesus:
To do this I must have more of God’s presence in my life. I must meet with Him on a daily basis and I must fall in love with Him all over again. I want to hunger for holiness. I want to be obsessed with God. Right now, this isn’t enough.

Melissa

Last semester when I first met my roommate, Melissa, I had no idea I would make a best friend. Melissa was not the type of company I usually kept. I had imagined I’d meet people at college that were very like-minded. I wanted to befriend theology geeks that enjoyed Christian hip-hop and impressive vocabulary words. I had imagined meeting people like myself. So when I met this artistic, free spirited type, I had no idea what was going to become of this relationship.

The human experience is a funny thing. At first I think we made each other very uncomfortable. I perceived Melissa as this crazy little hippie chick that said ‘dude’ a lot and played a djembe drum. She probably perceived me as this studious close-minded Church geek. But as different as we were, we realized we had so much in common. We could relate to each other on the strangest things. We shared similar past experiences. We even understood the little shades of crazy in each other’s lives, and we didn’t judge each other for them.

Eventually the new wore off of this relationship. I think initially we were really friendly and fake with each other, careful not to offend one another. But I think it dawned on the both of us that we had to live with each other and being fake with each other wasn’t fun. Once this started happening, things went downhill for a bit. We had 2 huge arguments a month or so into the semester. We even had dramatic moments of “I’m leaving this place and I want nothing else to do with you!” We really got on each other’s nerves there for a while. Looking back on this is incredibly comical because we eventually moved on and bonded like nothing had ever happened between us. But I love the fact that we’ll always have angry journal entries written about each other to laugh at.

The rest of the semester was pretty good. We made a lot of friends, hung out all the time, danced in our bedroom, painted together, went thrift store shopping, prayed together, and worshipped a lot. It was pretty smooth sailing for the remainder of our time together. We had a minor argument around the end of the year, but it was over by the next day. Something strange had happened when we weren’t looking- God used us to teach each other lessons we didn’t realize we had needed.

By the end of the semester I found myself to be a different person from who I was around the beginning of the year. I wasn’t as argumentative or quick to debate. I wasn’t so reserved and quiet. I stopped worrying all the time and actually learned how to have fun. I stopped caring so much about what others thought of me and started being myself. I started noticing I wasn’t trying to dress like others or look like others. I was me. I went through a handful of hairstyles, and started wearing whatever made me happy. I decided to start painting- and I love it! I learned how to listen to others even when I disagree with them. I became more comfortable with the reality of God’s work within believers, and even started embracing things that had usually made me uncomfortable. I’d like to say that I even became less judgmental than I was before. I’d say the most noticeable difference was the fact that I had loosened up and learned to enjoy life.

I don’t think I would’ve changed in such a positive manner had it not been for my friendship with Melissa and the way God used her in my life.*Melissa and I have both stated that we’ve impacted each other’s lives, but I don’t think we’ll ever fully recognize how much of an impact we’ve had. Melissa ended up leaving Lee University because she felt called to Kansas City, Missouri. We said goodbye, and agreed to keep in contact. She has said a few times that she could see us doing ministry together in the future. Only God knows if that is part of His plans for our friendship. But during Christmas break I had a pleasant surprise when Melissa called me and let me know she was driving through the area. We hung out for just a bit and prayed together. It was so nice to see her again! When we talked and prayed, I really felt God’s presence. It was such a blessing to me.

She did share the funniest thing with me though. She told me she would be attending a theological seminary next semester. What?!?! I never would’ve guessed she’d one day attend a seminary! Melissa wasn’t big on theology, that was always more my thing. It cracks me up that she is pursuing this and I’m pursuing art. It feels like we switched paths or something.*I’m super blessed and thankful to have had such a great experience. I look forward to posting more about what God has decided to do through our friendship, and any future stories of hanging out.

Christina talks about spiritual unity.

I was discussing unity with a friend. A couple I don't know all that well recently got married and I was impressed by how they seem to be so spiritually united and like-minded. I admire that greatly. While I may not agree with this couple's religious beliefs 100% of the time, I love the fact that they're committed to them and each other. When discussing this with my friend I told him that I hope my husband and I are like that, but the Pentecostal version. I continued to go on about what that looks like inside my head and when I re-read what I had written, I couldn't help but laugh. It's funny but true. The following statement was taken from my conversation:

I want my husband and I to be in ministry and when we receive a phone call at 3AM we get out of bed and he's like "Honey where did I put my anointing oil? I gotta go cast some demons out of this guy and anoint him." and I'll all be like "babe, it's near your Bible. And I'll grab it for you. let's go handle this in Jesus name. They messed with the wrong ministers tonight."

God is writing my love story.

What I'm about to share is deeply personal. I've only shared this with a few close friends. One of my friends, Gabrielle, suggested I blog about this. I put that idea on the back burner for a while because I wasn't sure I wanted to share something so near to my heart. But recent situations have inspired me to share some thoughts I've had about the possibility of marriage in my future.

I'm single. I've never been in a serious relationship before. I turn 26 in March of 2012. I recently heard a statistic suggesting that 26 was the average age of brides in the USA. I'd like to get excited about this because if I'm average, I should be walking down that aisle sometime next year. But lets face it, my plans and my ways are far different from what God may have planned for me.

I look around at my friends and it seems like most of them are married. Some of them have already had or are expecting their first child. My other friends are engaged. I know 2 couples that have been able to change their Facebook status to "engaged" recently. I was even able to attend my first wedding this September. I feel like marriage is all around me. Please don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly happy for these friends of mine. I have no doubt that God has ordained these marriages and love stories they share. But I must confess that I feel like the marriage boat is passing me by as I stand upon the dock, watching everyone else board.

It doesn't help that I'm such a cheesy romantic at heart. My friend Eric always jokes about how he can so easily imagine me laying on my bed, writing in my journal, while listening to love songs by Taylor Swift, and just sighing in agreement. It's easy to imagine (probably because I've lived out that moment more than once). I get giddy and whimsical when I think about romance. I've spent so much time thinking about marriage here lately. I daydream about my future husband, our wedding, and our family. I also get overly excited about the idea of having someone I can talk to all the time about God, someone that I can pray with, someone I can worship with, someone I can minister with, and someone I can have Bible study with. I truly desire these things.

I could easily date around and see if I meet the right guy. But that's not what I want, not at all. I think our culture's idea of dating is very flawed and leaves a lot to be desired. I'd rather just have a friendship turn to something more. I don't want to pursue someone just because I'm longing for a relationship. I want something with a true foundation of love and friendship. Because if I can't be friends with someone, I probably can't expect much from a romantic relationship.

Well a couple of months back I was praying about what God would have in store for me. I truly believe God spoke to me about dating and has advised me to remain single for at least a year. When praying about this God lead me to the book of Esther and showed me something very interesting within that book.

"Each young woman’s turn came to go in to King Ahasuerus after she had completed twelve months’ preparation, according to the regulations for the women, for thus were the days of their preparation apportioned: six months with oil of myrrh, and six months with perfumes and preparations for beautifying women." Esther 2:12

Before Esther was to marry and become queen she was prepared for a year with beauty treatments. Now I'm not suggesting that God told me to head to the salon in 2012. But I do believe there is something very special for Christian women to take note of here. What preparations are we making for our future marriages? Are we going to be ready, are we going to be as beautiful as we can be for our husbands? This is not just a physical thing. God is not a shallow God that is merely concerned about the outside. God sees our heart. I believe God also spent this year with Esther preparing her spiritually. I believe God has told me that He will beautify me both physically and spiritually this year, but my eyes must remain upon Him.

What does this mean for me? It means I need to stop trying to be such a princess when it comes to marriage. I need to trust what God has spoken to me and walk in obedience. I need to stop daydreaming so much. I need to avoid flirting or anything that could be misconstrued as such. I need to trust that God is writing my love story. So that's what I will aim to do over this next year. I pray that I will not waste this precious time, nor will I dread it. I will aim to use my every day and my every word as a way to glorify God in my singleness, and if He wills it, one day I hope to glorify God in my marriage. But for now I desire my heart to belong solely to the Lord, after all the Scriptures say:

"For your husband is your Maker, whose name is the Lord of hosts..." Isaiah 54:5

Need a hug?

Have you ever had one of those days where all you really needed was a hug? There is just something really special and intimate about a hug given at the right time. There is something about an embrace from a loved one that just lifts your spirits and reaffirms your value in their eyes. Such a simple physical affection can bring so much comfort to your soul.

Confession: I'm a bit of a hugger. I try to contain it at times. But once in a while I do catch people off guard as I throw my arms around them. I've always appreciated hugs. I know I'm not the only one. One of my favorite spoken word poets, Bradley Hathaway, has a poem about how great it would be to hug God. You can find that poem here. I really identify with this. If only God could embrace us in this way and provide that comfort we so often crave.

What I'm about to share is not an original discovery of my own within the Scriptures. I heard a message preached last week on television that really left me in awe of our God. I decided to research what the pastor said and found it to be true. So I pray this discovery comforts you as it has me.

In chapter 10 of Acts, Peter shares the Gospel message of Jesus Christ. He finishes up by saying (verse 43):

"To him give all the prophets witness, that through his name whosoever believeth in him shall receive remission of sins."

This powerful message was accompanied by God's presence as we're told in the very next verse (verse 44):

"While Peter yet spake these words, the Holy Ghost fell on all them which heard the word."

Now I'd like to go back to the book of Luke. Most of us are familiar with the story of the prodigal son found in Luke 15. We rejoice as we read of the son's return in verse 20 which states:

"And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him." (KJV)

It's interesting that these 2 stories that seem very different have something major in common- the word "fell". The Greek word used here is "epipipto" and it means to embrace with affection. Just as the Father embraces his son with that much needed hug, so the Holy Spirit also hugs us when He falls upon us.

The idea of a hug from God can be a reality when the Holy Spirit falls upon us, for it is God Himself hugging us. Notice that this happened when the powerful Gospel message was shared. Need a hug from God? Speak the Gospel truth and take comfort in the presence of the Holy Spirit as He wraps His arms around you.

New Year's Resolutions

Ok so every year my friend Eric and I post New Year's Resolutions blogs. Usually I end up deleting the list after a month or so because I feel like a failure when I reflect on how many I've actually kept. Though I would say that I've kept 2 of my resolutions/goals of 2011. I wanted to grow in godliness. While I'm not as holy as I'd like to be, I have noticed maturity. I also wanted to lose weight. Currently I'm down 56 pounds. I think the reason I so often fail to keep these resolutions is because I put too much pressure on myself at the beginning of the year and the slightest slip up gets me discouraged to the point of giving up and moving on. But as a whole, 2011 has been a year of change for me and I'm thankful that God has blessed me.

So here are 10 goals/resolutions I have for the year of 2012 in no particular order:

1. Holiness- I'd like to continue to grow in godliness. I want to be more devoted to God. I want to be more devoted to worship, prayer, Bible study, and ministering to others. I want to love others more than I do and really show that love. I want God to use me to serve Him by serving the Church. I want to be in love with God more than anyone or anything else. I also want to become a prayer warrior that talks to God so much that God finds Himself overwhelmed with me.

2. Weight loss- My weight loss focus for 2011 didn't really begin until about half way through the year, maybe even later. I need to work on my diet and keep avoiding those cookies. I want to spend the whole year of 2012 working on this. I want to spend a lot of time in the gym working out and toning certain areas. I also have a lot of personal fitness goals I desire to reach. I believe God has been blessing my efforts so far and I give Him all the glory for this.

3. Financial goals- I'm currently looking for a job and recently had a phone interview. Hopefully this all comes together for me. I am hopeful that 2012 will be a year where I become faithful in my giving/tithing, I'd like to purchase a car, and provide for my family.

4. IHOP- I really want to visit the International House Of Prayer and spend some time in worship there. Even a weekend trip would do.

5. Remain single- I know that's an odd sounding goal. Around the end of October of 2011 I believe God spoke to my heart about remaining single for at least a year. I want God to rid my heart of that desire for a relationship until the time is right, and help me walk in obedience. I want to stop flirting and daydreaming about romance, stop pursuing relationships, and just allow God to write my love story.

6.Hang out with Eric- So I have this friend that is like a brother to me. His name is Eric. I haven't seen him in person in over 4 years. I just need a couple days to hang out with him and laugh. He currently lives in MD, and I'm in TN.

7. Learn to speak Spanish- Thanks to my good friend John I have a lot of books that could help me with this. I've just been too lazy to pursue this goal. I'd love to learn the language and be able to minister in whatever way God would use this.

8. Perform a spoken word piece in public- I enjoy writing poetry and lately I've developed a love for word play. I want to share one of these poems at an open mic event.

9. Be outdoorsy- I want to go camping, hiking, swimming, fishing, maybe even rock climbing. If it's outside, I want to do it.

10. Read more- I've got a Kindle, I've got a box of books. I always say I want to do this but rarely follow through with it. I mean I read, but not enough to look back and say "Wow, I read a good amount that year."

Galatians 2:20

Tonight at Church we discussed Galatians 2:20 which says:

"I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me."

We discussed how Christ held nothing back when it came to His sacrifice. He sacrificed everything for us, His entire life upon this earth.

Jesus was so willing to make sacrifices all for the sake of love. He loved the Father, He loved the comforter that would soon come (the Holy Spirit), and He loved those that would call upon Him for salvation. He loved so intensely, so severely, that laying down His life was proof of this. He even told us that His love was sincere when he explained that "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends." (John 15:13)

He gave it all. When is the last time we gave everything within us, everything we have to glorify God? I sometimes give God bits and pieces of my heart. I sometimes have a burst of dedication to Christ manifest within my spirit. But I feel I can honestly say I rarely (if ever) have a selfless, dedicated, truly focused sacrifice when it comes to glorifying God.

Our sin did not come free. It cost Christ everything. Now we'll never be able to repay Him. But I hope to live a life of dedication, making whatever sacrifices I can. He held back nothing when it came to His love for us. We should hold nothing back when it comes to our love for Him. Let us walk in sacrificial love for God's glory.

Women's Ministry Dropout. Yup.

I'm a "women's ministry dropout." My good friend Cindy coined this term when I told her that I usually try to avoid programs that are specifically aimmed at women. But being honest, I think dropout implies that I was once heavily involved in a women's ministry. I've never been very involved with these types of programs. I've went to one service that was for females only, and caught maybe the last 5 minutes of another women's gathering. Now I have no issue with those of you that enjoy these types of programs. Perhaps one day I will enjoy them as well. But at the moment I'd rather be the "dropout."

Why do I dislike women's ministries? Well for a number of reasons really. The main reason- I don't fit in. I mean yes, I meet the general qualification- I am a female. But I feel as if these programs usually exclude single, childless women. So here is a small list of reasons that explain my issue with programs aimmed at women specifcially:

1. I'm single.

These programs are great for married women. We can sit around and talk about our marriages. We can share advice and prayers about how to build a strong, happy, and healthy marriage. We can share funny or heart-warming stories about our significant other. We can even watch "Fireproof" again! It's not that I have a problem with any of these things. All of these things are lovely. But as an unmarried, single woman- I just feel very out of place. I don't have a story about my husband, I don't have a marriage that needs advice, and Kirk Cameron's love dare doesn't mean anything to me. I appreciate the advice. Maybe one day I'll marry, and I'll be able to apply what I've learned. But at the moment marriage doesn't seem to be in my future. If it turns out that I am to be single for the rest of my life (which I hope is not the case), you could imagine that these types of gatherings wouldn't be the most pleasant thing for someone that is not happy with being single.

2. I'm not a Mom.

Women's ministries are great for mothers. All-female gatherings are a great place to learn from other mothers, sell items for your child's fundraiser at school, reflect on motherhood, or even share photos of your little angels. They could even provide Mom with some much needed fellowship or me-time. Again, all of these things are lovely. But since I don't have children, I can't help but feel a little out of place. Sure, I'll look at your photo album of little Tommy's camping trip. And yes, I'd love to hear about Suzie's ballet recital. I just don't have anything to contribute when it comes to the topic of children.

3. I can't cook.

Cooking up a storm and swapping recipes are the norm for a lot of women's programs. Food is good and I'm always cool with trying something delicious. But I really can't contribute anything when it comes to spending time in the kitchen. Seeing reasons 1 and 2, you could probably guess that I'm not much of a cook. I'm the type of girl that is thrilled with Ramen noodles or oatmeal. That is the extent of my culinary skills. So unless you'd like me to boil the water for the noodles, I'm afraid I won't be of much assistance. But if the cooking was for a good cause like raising money for the Church, or feeding the hungry- I'm ready to put on my appron and turn those Ramen noodles into gourmet Ramen noodles. I'm just not of much use when it comes to cooking simply for the sake of cooking.

4. When it comes to arts and crafts, I'm no Martha Stewart.

This reason is probably the one that I'm the least worried about. I enjoy being creative and making cute little things. I love craft stores, I love craft supplies, and hot glue guns are fun! I just can't sew, knit, or anything like that. But I can honestly say I've never made anything impressive. If we were to make these things and sell them as a fundraiser, I'd try my best. I'm not really against the idea of making stuff. It can be fun. It's just not my first pick when given a list of activities.

5. Theology, please?

Reason number 5 isn't a complaint really. I'm sure there are women's bible studies that are filled with God-honoring theology. I'm actually the type of person that gets excited about studying and discussing the Word. In fact, I'd love to find a Bible study that offers this type of commitment to the Scriptures. But I'll just throw this out there- just because we're female doesn't mean we have to discuss the roles of a wife or the book of Esther, again. We don't always have to focus on gender specific issues, of females in the Bible. Let's be real with our approach to Bible study and view it as a whole, not as something we should pick apart because something seems especially girly.

I recognize that ministry is not about me, but about serving others. So I hope whoever reads this can recognize that when it comes down to serving others I will always do my best to step up. My aim was to specifically address the non-serving aspects. Now after sharing a few of these reasons with Cindy, she said something along the lines of "Well the younger women are supposed to learn from the older women." I absolutely agree with this statement. There is a wealth of wisdom that can be passed down from the elder women to the younger women and I hope to receive these things and use them to glorify God. But I'd like to take a look at the Scripture I think Cindy was refering to:

Tit 2:3-5 "Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, (4) and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, (5) to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled."

Now of course there are things listed that I could learn from older women in a women's ministry: that which is good, self-control, purity, working at home, kindness, and many other things that are not listed. But from this verse I'd gather that the general idea was that the younger women receiving the instruction were married since it does say "...train the young women to love their husbands and children...[and to be] submissive to their own husbands..."

Funny thought though- sometimes God takes what you've thought or said and turns it around on you. How funny would it be to find myself married, raising children, cooking up a storm, sewing quilts and reading about Esther sometime in the future? But for the time being, I'll remain a "women's ministry dropout."

Overwhelm the Lord.

Were you an overwhelming child? Could you take "no" for an answer? Did you bug your parents when you wanted something? When I was little (I'd guess I was in 3rd grade) I really wanted one of those mini backpack purses. I don't know if you guys remember these things, but they were so popular at my elementary school. All of the cool girls wore the backpack purses while on the playground. It was a popular trend of the 90s and I just thought these purses were the coolest thing. So I remember bugging my Mom about them. I told her how cool I'd be if I had one. I told her that everyone has one. I told her that I just need one so badly. This probably lasted for a couple of weeks. Well one day I remember my Mom called me from work and said "I have a surprise for you and your sister, so do you want blue or red?" When I got off the phone I found my sister and told her about what Mom had said. We sat there for a while and tried to figure out what our surprise could be. With the 2 color options we figured it was probably 2 Power Ranger toys. My sister and I were fond of the Power Rangers when we were little. I mean you guys know season one was awesome, what little girl didn't want to be Kimberly (the pink ranger)? Anyways, when our Mom got home that day we were so happy that it wasn't another Power Ranger toy (we already had a few). Instead, Mom had went out on her lunch break and bought 2 mini backpack purses!! Our pestering had worked! Mom broke down and got us what we wanted. So yes, I was probably an overwhelming child that could not take "no" for an answer. But my persistence paid off.

I don't think my overwhelming, persistent attitude transitioned into adulthood with me. I mean if I really want something I will try my best to obtain it. But I'm not as aggravating about things as I once was. The reason I share all of this is because some Scripture was shared with me a few hours ago and it's been on my mind for a good portion of my morning. In one of the Gospels Jesus tells a story that is meant to encourage His people to constantly be in prayer. He talks about this overwhelming, persistent attitude in a positive light. Jesus shares the story of this judge. There was this judge that had no concern for God or men. Jesus describes this judge as being unrighteous. He's a bad guy. Jesus also talks about a persistent widow. This widow believed she had experienced some sort of injustice and was not satisfied with the way things were going. So she continually kept going to this judge and requesting that he grant her justice against her adversary. The judge would rule against her, so she'd come back and bug him some more. Finally one day the judge got exhausted with having to deal with this persistent woman who refused to give up. He decided to rule in her favor just so she would leave him alone. I find it interesting that Jesus gives us this widow that refuses to take "no" for an answer as our example of how we should approach prayer. It's kind of a funny story. Persistence pays. You can read about this in Luke 18:1-8.

Now as I mentioned, Jesus did share this story to encourage us to pray and not lose heart. What's interesting is what Jesus says to close this story:

"Hear what the unrighteous judge says. (7) And will not God give justice to his elect, who cry to him day and night? Will he delay long over them? (8) I tell you, he will give justice to them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?"

Jesus says that His people will be a people dedicated to prayer, day and night. God hears the prayers of His people, and He will grant them what is right. But are we being faithful? Are we trusting that God is sovereign? Are we trusting that He will grant what is right and that He is working all things together for the good of those that love Him (Romans 8:28)? Are we being persistent in our prayer lives? The widow overwhelmed that judge. One request was not enough. Are we praying like this? Do we constantly pour our hearts out to God, requesting our needs over and over, exercising the faith that Christ desires? Don't give up, don't lose heart. Keep pressing into prayer. Challenge yourself to pray so much that your constant prayer life overhwhelms God. This Scripture teaches us that we must be persistent with our faith. Do your best to overwhelm God because if the unrighteous will eventually give what is good, certainly the source of righteousness will grant that which is better. Your request could be anything! Maybe you're praying about the salvation of your spouse? Maybe there is a financial need? Maybe you've been crying out to God for a physical healing in your body? That prayer request that seems to get no further than the ceiling, keep taking it to the Lord. Overwhelm the Lord with your requests and stay in prayer. He will give you what is best.

A Case For Dinosaurs

You Won't Find That Word In The Bible!

Many Christians will often argue semantics without even realizing it. How often have you heard something along the lines of, "That word isn't even in the Bible" during a group Bible study or service at the Church? For example, the word "trinity" is nowhere to be found in the scriptures. However, when studying the Word of God it is quite clear to see that though God is One (Deuteronomy 6:4), He is triune at the same time (Genesis 1:26). God is Father (1 Corinthians 8:6), Son (John 20:28), and Holy Spirit (Acts 5:3-4) while still remaining One. The word trinity is convenient because it expresses the nature of God in one word. So while the actual term may be absent from the word the belief behind it is very present. Another example we could use would be the word "rapture." Nowhere in the Word of God do we see the word "rapture" used, but like the world "trinity", the concept is very present in the Word. You can read about people being raptured away (1 Thessalonians 4:13-17). From these 2 examples alone we can conclude that words may be absent but their very meaning is present. What about the word "dinosaur?" You will never find the word "dinosaur" in the Bible. Does this mean that they go unmentioned? Like the word "trinity" and "rapture", I hope to convince you of the existence of "dinosaurs" throughout the Scripture despite the absence of the word. I will offer a few reasons as to why I believe it is biblical and necessary to believe that dinosaurs once roamed the earth. I will also offer an explanation as to why dinosaurs are no longer roaming the earth. All scripture quoted will be taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

God Created The Earth And All It Contains

I feel it is important to explain early on that I do not subscribe to a form of evolution (whether secular or theistic). God's Word is very clear that the Lord created the heavens and earth (Genesis 1:1), as well as all it contains within 6 literal 24 hour days, and then He rested on the 7th day (Genesis 1-2:3). The Lord is the Giver of life (John 1:4) and does not rely on evolution or silly theories to put things into action. God is sovereign, all knowing, all powerful, omnipresent, and dependent upon nothing. There is nothing made without Him, and through Him all things find their source of life (John 1:3). This would include dinosaurs. If dinosaurs did in fact roam the earth many years ago, it is only because God created them and gave them their life as He did with the other animals. If dinosaurs did exist, they would be an animal of some sort. Like all of the created things for earth, the dinosaurs would roam the earth, feed off of the food provided, and fall into one or more of the days of creation. Why would they not fall into just one day of the Creation? Well God divided things up. He created the flying creatures of the air on the 5th day of creation (Genesis 1:20). This would include birds, bats, and any flying dinosaurs (such as pterodactyls). He also created the creatures of the sea on the 5th day as well (Genesis 1:21). This would include fish, squid, shrimp, and any sea dinosaurs (such as the plesiosaur). Then God created land creatures on the 6th day (Genesis 1:24-25) which would include cattle, bears, or any land dinosaurs (such as the tyrannosaurus rex).


If Only The Bible Said "Dinosaur"

You may be wondering why the word "dinosaur" is never found within the Scriptures. John Wycliffe (nicknamed "The Morning Star of the Reformation") was the first person to translate the Bible into the English language around 1382. In the year 1535, the Coverdale Bible was printed in English (translated by Miles Coverdale). The word "dinosaur" is a newer word that did not exist until the 1800's. The absence of the word is quite understandable when you consider the dates given above.

Dragons?


So what scriptural words would lead me to believe that dinosaurs once existed? The first word we'll examine is "dragon" which is used numerous times throughout the Bible. In the New Testament we see the word "dragon" mentioned 13 times. I've refrained from using the New Testament usages of the word "dragon" because every usage takes place within the book of Revelation. We are told in Revelation 12:9 "And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him." We are also told Revelation 20:2 "And he laid hold on the dragon, that old serpent, which is the Devil, and Satan, and bound him a thousand years,". These verses tells us that the dragon in Revelation is Satan. While I do believe it is possible that the dragons mentioned in Revelation could be Satan in the form of literal dinosaur-like creature, I cannot use these verses honestly due to my admitted ignorance of eschatology and interpretation of the book of Revelation.

In the Old Testament you will find the word "dragon" 22 times. There are 3 Hebrew words that "dragon" is translated from. The first word given is tan (pronounced just like it looks, tan). Strong's Hebrew and Greek dictionaries offers the following definition:
From an unused root probably meaning to elongate; a monster (as preternaturally formed), that is, a sea serpent (or other huge marine animal); also a jackal (or other hideous land animal): - dragon, whale. Compare H8577.

The 2nd word given for "dragon" when looking up the Hebrew is tannah (pronounced tan-naw'). Strong's offers the following definition:
Probably feminine of H8565; a female jackal: - dragon.

The 3rd and final Hebrew word used for "dragon" is tanniyn tanniym (pronounced tan-neen', tan-neem'). This following definition is offered:
(The second form used in Eze_29:3); intensive from the same as H8565; a marine or land monster, that is, sea serpent or jackal: - dragon, sea-monster, serpent, whale.

When researching this topic I came across something very interesting in regards to that last hebrew word. Many people think Genesis is silent when it comes to the subject of dinosaurs, but I've found something very different. In Genesis 1:21 God's word says, "And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that it was good." If you check the hebrew word for whale, you'll discover this is the same word listed above, "tanniyn tanniym." So while the the King James Version translates this word as whale, it could just as easily be translated as dragon, sea-monster, serpent, or jackal. I wondered if this word that is rendered "whale" could've been some sort of fish, so I decided to compare it to the great fish that swallowed Jonah in the book of Jonah, 1:17. I found that the hebrew word for fish (dag da'g, pronounced dawg dawg) is quite different from the word rendered as whale. So the creature mentioned in Genesis 1:21 and Jonah 1:17 are quite different. Perhaps a better english translation would be "sea monsters" or "dragons."


You may also have noticed that this creature (the dragon) is commonly described as being some sort of jackal or monster. It seems unclear what exactly this creature is based on the Hebrew. Based on the descriptions offered within Scripture I've gathered a few things about this dragon.

1. Some dragons were water animals (Psalm 74:13, 148:7, Isaiah 27:1, Ezekiel 29:3).
2. Some dragons resided on dry land (Isaiah 35:7, 43:20, Jeremiah 19:11, Jeremiah 10:22, Jeremiah 49:33, Jeremiah 51:37, Malachi 1:3).
3. Dragons are wild beasts (Isaiah 13:22).
4. Dragons are known for their loud cries or roars (Job 30:29, Isaiah 13:22, Micah 1:8).
5. Dragons are large animals capable of devouring large creatures (Jeremiah 51:34).
6. The dragon is paired with another creature I've mentioned, the Leviathan (Isaiah 27:1).

Scripture and the descriptions given within it allow us to logically believe that dinosaurs are referred to as "dragons" in the Old Testament.


Behemoth?

The 2nd word I'd like to examine is "Behemoth." This word is used only 1 time throughout Scripture (Job 40:15) and it is then followed up with a lengthy description of this creature. The hebrew word is "bhemoth" (pronounced be-hay-mohth'). Strong's offer's the following definition:
a water ox, that is, the hippopotamus or Nile horse: - Behemoth.

Job 40:15-24 "Behold now behemoth, which I made with thee; he eateth grass as an ox. (16) Lo now, his strength is in his loins, and his force is in the navel of his belly. (17) He moveth his tail like a cedar: the sinews of his stones are wrapped together. (18) His bones are as strong pieces of brass; his bones are like bars of iron. (19) He is the chief of the ways of God: he that made him can make his sword to approach unto him. (20) Surely the mountains bring him forth food, where all the beasts of the field play. (21) He lieth under the shady trees, in the covert of the reed, and fens. (22) The shady trees cover him with their shadow; the willows of the brook compass him about. (23) Behold, he drinketh up a river, and hasteth not: he trusteth that he can draw up Jordan into his mouth. (24) He taketh it with his eyes: his nose pierceth through snares."

The identity of "behemoth" has been debated for many years. Strong's dictionary and many others believe "behemoth" to be the hippopotamus. This cannot work when you consider verse 17. Behemoth is a large creature with a large tail. His tail is so large that it's movement is compared to a cedar tree. A cedar tree is a mighty, large, pillar-like tree that is mentioned being in Lebanon frequently in the Old Testament. A hippopotamus has a tail similar to a pig. Verse 19 says "He is the chief of the ways of God..." which is an interesting statement. Every commentary, preacher, and comparison of the hebrew language suggests this means that this creature is the largest and tallest creature God has created. It is obvious that the hippopotamus does not live up to this description, but the dinosaur sure does. The dinosaur known as the brachiosaurus is believed to have been one of the larger dinosaurs that once roamed the earth. It's estimated that they were as tall as 40 ft. and weighed as much as 78 tons. More than likely, "behemoth" is a dinosaur.


Leviathan?

The 3rd and final word I'd like to examine is "leviathan." Leviathan is mentioned 5 times by name in the Old Testament. In hebrew, the word leviathan is livyathan (pronounced liv-yaw-thawn) and it is given this definition according to Strong's:
a wreathed animal, that is, a serpent (especially the crocodile or some other large sea monster); figuratively the constellation of the dragon; also as a symbol of Babylon: - leviathan, mourning.


Job 41:1-34 "Canst thou draw out leviathan with an hook? or his tongue with a cord which thou lettest down? (2) Canst thou put an hook into his nose? or bore his jaw through with a thorn? (3) Will he make many supplications unto thee? will he speak soft words unto thee? (4) Will he make a covenant with thee? wilt thou take him for a servant for ever? (5) Wilt thou play with him as with a bird? or wilt thou bind him for thy maidens? (6) Shall the companions make a banquet of him? shall they part him among the merchants? (7) Canst thou fill his skin with barbed irons? or his head with fish spears? (8) Lay thine hand upon him, remember the battle, do no more. (9) Behold, the hope of him is in vain: shall not one be cast down even at the sight of him? (10) None is so fierce that dare stir him up: who then is able to stand before me? (11) Who hath prevented me, that I should repay him? whatsoever is under the whole heaven is mine. (12) I will not conceal his parts, nor his power, nor his comely proportion. (13) Who can discover the face of his garment? or who can come to him with his double bridle? (14) Who can open the doors of his face? his teeth are terrible round about. (15) His scales are his pride, shut up together as with a close seal. (16) One is so near to another, that no air can come between them. (17) They are joined one to another, they stick together, that they cannot be sundered. (18) By his neesings a light doth shine, and his eyes are like the eyelids of the morning. (19) Out of his mouth go burning lamps, and sparks of fire leap out. (20) Out of his nostrils goeth smoke, as out of a seething pot or caldron. (21) His breath kindleth coals, and a flame goeth out of his mouth. (22) In his neck remaineth strength, and sorrow is turned into joy before him. (23) The flakes of his flesh are joined together: they are firm in themselves; they cannot be moved. (24) His heart is as firm as a stone; yea, as hard as a piece of the nether millstone. (25) When he raiseth up himself, the mighty are afraid: by reason of breakings they purify themselves. (26) The sword of him that layeth at him cannot hold: the spear, the dart, nor the habergeon. (27) He esteemeth iron as straw, and brass as rotten wood. (28) The arrow cannot make him flee: slingstones are turned with him into stubble. (29) Darts are counted as stubble: he laugheth at the shaking of a spear. (30) Sharp stones are under him: he spreadeth sharp pointed things upon the mire. (31) He maketh the deep to boil like a pot: he maketh the sea like a pot of ointment. (32) He maketh a path to shine after him; one would think the deep to be hoary. (33) Upon earth there is not his like, who is made without fear. (34) He beholdeth all high things: he is a king over all the children of pride."


The description given here is quite thorough and leaves little to the imagination. You can clearly see that this creature is a dinosaur. But if the Scripture alone does not convince you, I'd like to pay special attention to verse 20 which says, "Out of his nostrils goeth smoke, as out of a seething pot or caldron." I cannot think of any animal known to man that has smoke proceeding from it's nostrils except a dragon/dinosaur. This Scripture gives us no option but a dinosaur of some sort.


What Happened To The Dinosaurs?

If we are now convinced that dinosaurs once roamed the earth, we must then ask the next question that follows: what happened to the dinosaurs? Well we must realize that dinosaurs were on Noah's ark because God sent at least 2 of every land-dwelling, air-breathing animal upon the ark. Since dinosaurs are animals, this would include them as well. Many people believe that once the flood was over, the environmental changes were so drastic that the dinosaurs slowly started dying out. Another verse suggests that God had a part in the extinction of the dinosaurs. We read in Job 40:19, "He is the chief of the ways of God: he that made him can make his sword to approach unto him." As powerful and mighty as a dinosaur may have been, it was still in subjection to the Lord. God caused this creature to go extinct.

A Necessary Conclusion


In closing, I believe Scripture speaks very loudly and tells us that dinosaurs were once upon the face of the earth. If Scripture isn't enough evidence for us, we still have the fossil record. We cannot logically deny the existence of dinosaurs when we have such a huge fossil record that says otherwise. Bones suggest that there was once something living. Life suggests that God created these creatures. I heard a Pastor once say that he had heard someone say that the bones were placed on earth by God, in order to trick us. This person suggested that the bones are part of some sort of lie, a deception, given to unbelievers. God is not a trickster, He is a Holy and loving God. We seriously cannot believe such nonsense. Christians and the Church are mocked enough as is, denying something we have clear evidence of only makes Christians look uneducated and ignorant of what archaeology has proven over and over again. We must also consider the fact that just about every culture has some ancient story of a giant creature, a terrible lizard. Some of these creatures even blow fire. Is it so crazy to believe that these stories are based on some truth (much of which is verified in Scripture)? These stories did not come out of thin air, but must've been based on something that was once seen by the eyes of humanity.

Can you guess his soteriological views?

I bought a theological dictionary at a used bookstore the other day. I didn't get super picky or spend much time selecting a good one. I saw the price of $3.75 and that was good enough for me.

So then I take it home and I'm a bit disappointed with it. It's not the most thorough dictionary, the definitions don't go too far, and there are a bunch of terms or phrases I'd like to see within it. But my disappointment faded away when I read the definition of "Calvinism." When I shared this definition with a friend of mine that is Eastern Orthodox his reaction was, "Christina, you're making this up. It doesn't really say that." But oh yes, it does. My favorite parts (the obviously biased parts) are in bold print. Even as a Calvinist, this is just funny. Enjoy.

"Calvinism/Calvinist

John Calvin was born in France in 1509. He was one of the foremost of the Reformers.

Calvin taught no new doctrines. He simply put into systematic form (in his book 'The Institutes of the Christian Religion') the whole range of the doctrines of the Scriptures.

A Calvinist believes all that the Bible teaches about God and the human race. Calvinism emphasises the sovereignty of God about the sinful nature of mankind because the Bible teaches these doctrines..."

Gee I wonder if this guy is a Calvinist? So awesome.

"A Thousand Angry Panthers" by Bradley Hathaway (REVIEW)

Less than a year after releasing the album "A Mouth Full of Dust", Bradley is at it again. Bradley Hathaway's newest EP, "A Thousand Angry Panthers" has conversed with my heart. I could attempt to persuade you into purchasing this EP by rating it with a system of stars. But stars can't explain why I fell in love with the 4 songs that have been on repeat for about a week now. Hathaway has done something incredible. Within a mere 4 songs he has released an unfortunately accurate assessment of the depraved condition of mankind and it's heart-wrenchingly desperate need for a salvation that can only come through a wholly surrendered relationship with the Divine, a relationship with Jesus. Enveloped within the sounds of music that composed scenes of brutal honesty, Hathaway has written lyrics that invite you to sit down and enter into the scene of 4 amazing stories that all share the same message- the world and the dim life within it are screaming out for restoration and saving.

The thing that drew me into this EP was the story telling that took place within the lyrics. Bradley did not paint pictures with lofty language. Instead, using simple wording he was able to portray vivid pictures of a world saturated in habitual darkness. The opening track "She Was Raised By A Man With A Sickness" requires you to close your eyes and feel the deepest sorrows as guitars and other stringed instruments play a somber tune that accompany Bradley as he sings of a broken young woman. He offers the story of a woman that's been abused and belittled into believing the lies that she is worth nothing. She even refuses to embrace the pure love of the Divine because of her own estimate of her self-worth. Hathaway sings, "How could He dare? To love her, the unlovable, it just didn't seem fair." This reflection on the worth of mankind is frightening and convicting. Lyrics like these resonate within the heart of every believer at one point and this song leaves every broken person with a mirror reflecting some sort of shatteredness.

As we leave the first song we are welcomed into a more peaceful, upbeat sound with the second song "Carolina." Bradley sings of an exhaustion he's experienced but places it all within perspective when he shares why the exhaustion has not led to frustration. "I thought I heard a trumpet sound, I looked above and I looked around, thought maybe my Savior was coming back for me..." Such lyrics express a hope and a confidence that all these earthly exhaustions are more than worthwhile in comparison to the eternal future that lies ahead. The lullaby-like sounds of the instruments encourage you to drift away into the glorious hope that "...the wind brings You closer."

The third track "Would You Think Less Of Me" aligns perfectly with other messages offered in the previous two songs. As Hathaway repeats the exhaustion of being on the edge of breaking, you feel the seriousness and despair brought forth. Thoughts such as,"...I'm as tired as the winter branches, and the trees in the field, and for so long I've had to carry such a load..." are paired with a glimmer of hope as Hathaway reflects upon the passing of his Grandma. He sings, "...she smiles and her eyes open wide and she says she sees Jesus and the angels by her side" and you can't help but feel the overwhelming hope that we can only see dimly at the moment.

The fourth and final song "The World Is Screaming" is a musical masterpiece. Everything from the instrumentation, to the lyrics, to Bradley's unique vocals makes you want to join in as he and the world scream for something more. The simple yet full introduction almost produces the feeling of a wind or storm approaching. Bradley's voice breaks through the introduction and reveals the wicked and dark state of the world as he sings about problem after problem from a list that seems never-ending. Your heart can't help but break as he forces the listeners to acknowledge the mess this world is in. After being confronted with the numerous problems, Hathaway offers a veiled hope with the lyric, "We're all waiting for a Messiah to come, but we can't agree on who He is and which is the One." He then falls back into and repeats the all too true observation, "and the world is screaming." As the music continues to intensify, Hathaway parts ways with that veiled glimmer of hope. He trades it in for something, or should I say Someone, that can and will fix everything. He is not shy about the One that can rescue us, nor does he try to be. He confidently sings the life story of a mighty conqueror, a deliverer, a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. Even though Bradley is only singing it's like you can hear him screaming inside, screaming a profound and life-changing truth of a God that is Love. "...His Father was good, His Father had a plan, so He raised Him back to life, now He's sitting at His right hand, He listens to us, He hears our pleas, and He joins with us, on our knees" is followed by Bradley singing "...and the world is screaming" over and over and over again as the music turns into a beautiful chaos that resembles the sound of a screaming generation. The bold drumming that closes the song will most likely be followed by the listener's reaction of agreement, anger, or surrender.

I will confidently say that this EP is something you cannot afford to miss. Do yourself a favor and head over to iTunes and pick up "A Thousand Angry Panthers" by Mr.Bradley Hathaway.

Bradley's Myspace
Bradley's EP on iTunes

Degrees of misery in hell.

In a recent Sunday School class my soteriology was called into question. I guess it would be helpful to explain that I am the only Calvinist in my Church. I attend and serve within the local "Church of God" (a Pentecostal denomination). While there are a handful of Calvinists within the denomination, it is predominantly an Arminian Church when it comes to the issue of salvation. Shortly after I started attending services at my Church I shared with my Pastor and with a couple other Sunday School teachers my beliefs about predestination. Like John Piper, I truly believe that the ministry of a Calvinist can flourish within an Arminian atmosphere and I have no plans of leaving the Church. I truly believe God has placed me where I am and I am content with this.

Well during the class I was given an opportunity to share my beliefs more openly before the teenagers and the married couple that leads the youth ministry. My belief in sovereign grace was contested and I found myself having to answer many of the common objections that are thrown at Calvinists. One person asked me, "If predestination is true and there is an elect, then what is the point of evangelism?" Since this conversation was very explosive and energetic (question after question surfaced, opinion after opinion was offered), I was unable to answer as thoroughly as I would have liked to. But I offered two quick answers to the question. My first answer was that we evangelize out of obedience to Christ. If God tells us to do something then we surely must obey. My second answer (perhaps not a typical response) was that I believe we should evangelize all people because perhaps our message of truth could influence the lost sinners of this world to sin less frequently than they already do, even if they were to never exercise saving faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Sinning less would mean a lesser degree of misery in hell.

My first answer seemed forgotten by the time my second answer was brought forth. Jim, the husband of the married couple, said something along the lines of "there is no such thing as a lesser degree of hell." I explained that if every sin will be brought into account and judged by God then the logic follows that those who have committed more sins would suffer more in hell than those who haven't sinned as frequently. I also added that hell will be miserable for all, but some would suffer more than others.

I've given this some more thought and I must say that I still stand by everything I said within that class, especially my comment about the varying degrees of misery for those in hell. I realize my opinion is worth nothing. I hope to express why I believe what I said is true using the most reliable and accurate source there is, the Holy Word of God.

In Ecclesiastes 12:13-14 we are given these words, "The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil." If God planned on giving equal judgements based on the state of our souls (lost or saved), there would be no need to bring EVERY deed or secret thing into judgement. We see we will be judged based on what we've done and if that is so, each judgement will differ from person to person.

If we turn to Matthew 10 we read of Jesus sending out the 12 disciples (starting in verse 5). He gives them some instruction before they depart.

"These twelve Jesus sent out, instructing them, "Go nowhere among the Gentiles and enter no town of the Samaritans, but go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. And proclaim as you go, saying, 'The kingdom of heaven is at hand.' Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse lepers, cast out demons. You received without paying; give without pay. Acquire no gold nor silver nor copper for your belts, no bag for your journey, nor two tunics nor sandals nor a staff, for the laborer deserves his food. And whatever town or village you enter, find out who is worthy in it and stay there until you depart. As you enter the house, greet And if the house is worthy, let your peace come upon it, but if it is not worthy, let your peace return to you. And if anyone will not receive you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet when you leave that house or town."

Jesus then adds (verse 15), "Truly, I say to you, it will be more bearable on the day of judgment for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah than for that town."

I'd like to discuss verse 15 a bit more. Notice that Jesus expresses variations in judgement here. Jesus plainly says that although the judgement for Sodom and Gomorrah was bad, it will be much more intense for the people that refuse to listen or receive His great message of truth. The Scriptures tell us Sodom and Gomorrah were both destroyed for their great wickedness (Genesis 19:24-25). Yet Christ says it will be more bearable for these people of great wickedness than it will be for those who have sinned by rejection of Christ. It seems as if Jesus believed that the suffering of those in hell would vary from person to person based on this scripture. You can also see the same point being made in the 11th chapter of Matthew.

Matthew 11:21-24 states, "Woe to you, Chorazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! For if the mighty works done in you had been done in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes. But I tell you, it will be more bearable on the day of judgment for Tyre and Sidon than for you. And you, Capernaum, will you be exalted to heaven? You will be brought down to Hades. For if the mighty works done in you had been done in Sodom, it would have remained until this day. But I tell you that it will be more tolerable on the day of judgment for the land of Sodom than for you." If it will be more tolerable for Sodom, how can there not be different degrees of misery?

Matthew 12:40-45 also speaks of differing conditions during the judgement. "For just as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of the great fish, so will the Son of Man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth. The men of Nineveh will rise up at the judgment with this generation and condemn it, for they repented at the preaching of Jonah, and behold, something greater than Jonah is here. The queen of the South will rise up at the judgment with this generation and condemn it, for she came from the ends of the earth to hear the wisdom of Solomon, and behold, something greater than Solomon is here. "When the unclean spirit has gone out of a person, it passes through waterless places seeking rest, but finds none. Then it says, 'I will return to my house from which I came.' And when it comes, it finds the house empty, swept, and put in order. Then it goes and brings with it seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they enter and dwell there, and the last state of that person is worse than the first. So also will it be with this evil generation." Here again we see differing conditions for judgement and the last state of a person being worse than the first. If we will be judged not by what general state we are in (lost or saved) but by the sins and conditions of our heart, then we must believe that those whose last state is worse than their first will be judged more severely.

Let's also look at the parable of the faithful steward in Luke chapter 12, verses 42-44. We find Jesus talking about those who are Christians and live their lives in subjection to the will of God, prepared for the return of Christ.

"And the Lord said, "Who then is the faithful and wise manager, whom his master will set over his household, to give them their portion of food at the proper time? Blessed is that servant whom his master will find so doing when he comes. Truly, I say to you, he will set him over all his possessions."

Then Jesus informs us of what happens to those who were not ready for His return (the non Christians) in verses 45-48.

"But if that servant says to himself, 'My master is delayed in coming,' and begins to beat the male and female servants, and to eat and drink and get drunk, the master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he does not know, and will cut him in pieces and put him with the unfaithful. And that servant who knew his master's will but did not get ready or act according to his will, will receive a severe beating. But the one who did not know, and did what deserved a beating, will receive a light beating. Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more.

Jesus specifically says that there will be two types of beatings, a severe beating and a light beating. Here again we see Jesus expressing that judgement will be issued based on the behaviors and attitudes we've expressed and that not all judgements will be the same. Though both judgements are miserable, there seems to be a lesser degree of misery.

James 3:1 speaks of stricter judgement for false teachers of the Word. "Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness." How can judgement be stricter if it does not vary? Again we see that there will be different degrees of misery for those in hell based on our deeds.

"For if, after they have escaped the defilements of the world through the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and overcome, the last state has become worse for them than the first. For it would have been better for them never to have known the way of righteousness than after knowing it to turn back from the holy commandment delivered to them." This scripture found in 2 Peter 2:20-21 tells us that we will even be held accountable for our knowledge of the truth. Those who have rejected the truth will be worse off than those who have never known the truth. We can assume they will be worse off in hell. Here again we see various degrees of misery.

One of the strongest cases for the degrees of misery is found in Revelation 20:13. "And the sea gave up the dead who were in it, Death and Hades gave up the dead who were in them, and they were judged, each one of them, according to what they had done." Notice that those who are judged are not being judged for the state they are in (saved or lost), but they're judged according to what they've done. Judgement for these people will not be equal, nor will the degree of misery be equal. How do we know this? Because we know that not everyone in the world has sinned an equal amount of times, nor have they all committed the same sins.

I'd like to leave you with a short excerpt from "Theology in Dialogue" by John H. Gerstner because the author explains the subject more clearly than I do. I greatly enjoyed reading this book and Gerstner's teachings were used to open my eyes to many Biblical truths. The book is a conversation between a Christian and an unbeliever (both sides portrayed by Gerstner). In chapter 20 the Christian (C) and the inquirer (I) are discussing degrees of misery in hell. The Christian has expressed that there will be less cursedness for some unsaved people in hell.

"C: Since there are gradations in hell, then every sin that is avoided in this world will not be punished in the world to come. As our Lord says, every idle word will be brought into judgement. If idle words are avoided, then that will mean much less judgement.

I: But we must still face the fact that hell is hell. Everybody is going to be perfectly miserable there!

C: Yes. But the whole meaning of degrees in hell is that some people will have greater degrees than others.

I: But if you are perfectly miserable, what difference does it make what degree of misery you have?

C: Think about it for a moment. If God does say that every idle word will be judged, does that not mean that God will bring every idle word into judgement? One idle word will receive it's judgement and the next idle word will receive its judgement. If God says that, manifestly, He can deliver on that threat. So you can be sure that three idle words will receive three times the intensity of the divine fury than just one idle word would. It is perfectly true that the power of His anger is beyond human comprehension. If that is beyond human comprehension, the gradations of it may well be beyond human comprehension. One thing we can comprehend is this: If God is going to punish every idle word, then He is going to punish it and make it felt. How He does it may be a mystery, but we know that He can do it. Consequently, it is important to keep the number of those idle words (and other sins) to a minimum, even if a person does perish."

Update

I have not been neglecting this blog willingly. It seems like every time I say "I'm gonna post this or that", something happens. I've been without regular Internet access for a while now. I am able to get on and check emails and messages via the mobile phone but it's not all that great. Hopefully I can get Internet again soon.

But I'd like to give you a brief update of some of the activities in my life. I am happy to say that I finally found a Church in Tennessee. It was less than a mile away from my home. The reason I did not find it sooner is because our family never took the road that took us to it. My entire immediate family is now saved and we are active within our Church.

On Monday nights our Church offers it's building for the use of a program called "Overcomers Outreach." This is a faith-based /alcohol recovery program. Many of the members that attend are court-ordered to do so. Our pastor encourages the Church to come out and support this ministry. After attending one of these courses I realized what a powerful ministry it is. I try to attend these classes on a regular basis. I pray for others while I'm there, I may share a scripture or two that applies to the message, and sometimes I simply listen to what others have to say. It may not seem like much, but I appreciate being able to help out in whatever way I can. After Overcomers ends, there is another class (Anger Management). I attend this one as well in hopes of being able to help out and minister to someone. I love these classes. The people are so sweet and while some of the attendees are saved, quite a few are not. It's an amazing way to present the Gospel.

I've also been getting back into youth ministry. Our Church recently had a youth night. We had a bonfire, food, games, and I got to share a message. I felt like it was a great way to bond with the kids. I've also been helping out in the teen Sunday school class. Jim and Margarita (the youth directors) are allowing me to plan the next couple of lessons for the teens. The subject? The sacrifices of the Old Testament, the New Testament, and how they apply to us. We'll eventually start having a weekly youth night for the teens. I cannot tell you how excited I am about this! The last weekly youth night I was actively involved with was when I lived in Maryland a couple of years ago.

I've been reading a lot more. I'm currently reading a book called "Tactics: A Game Plan For Discussing Your Christian Convictions" by Gregory Koukl. This book is not so much a witnessing style, as it is a conversation plan. It teaches you how to really listen to what others say, and expose their words and message for what it really is. Since reading this book I've learned that many people use words so lightly and our conversations are so full of slogans and cliche little phrases that have very little thought behind them. I'd suggest checking this book out if you get a chance. It's a quick read I've found to be very helpful in my every day life. I've also been working my way through "Institutes of The Christian Religion" by John Calvin (though it's been on the back burner for a bit since I've been busier than usual), and I have a good amount of books by R.C. Sproul that I need to finish.

Mikey turns 9 years old tomorrow. He's adorable as ever. He's recently discovered that he can film little video clips on Amber's laptop and edit them using the movie-maker program. We recorded a talk show with a puppet last night. He especially loved being able to add his favorite song to the beginning of the clip with an opening caption introducing the show.

Amber and I would like to start witnessing again. For a while there we were walking around our town and sharing our faith with whoever would talk to us. But since it's been so cold this past month or so, we haven't been doing it. I've got a good amount of tracts though and as it warms up, I'd like to start passing them out. At Church we're actually doing a series on evangelism for the teens. Perhaps we could have some sort of day to get together and have some evangelistic community outreach.

Last night we went to court (yeah... they have night court here). My dog Mr.Fancy got out of his kennel a month ago and barked at a few neighbors, barked at an older boy, and ran around the street. The neighbors got upset and called the police. When the officer showed up, Mr.Fancy barked at him too. We had to appear in court. The charge? Dog at large. I won't lie, seeing that on paper made me giggle. Since that happened, we've secured the top of the kennel (Mr.Fancy can climb and was climbing out over the door). The Judge said please just make sure we keep our dog in our yard and dismissed the case. Justice was served for Mr.Fancy.

I'm still looking for work. I've had no luck at all. I've applied all over our small town. Nobody is hiring in our town. In the Sunday paper for the city of Cleveland (the largest city near us) there was a total of 10 jobs listed. Six them were part time, four full time, and one of the jobs was as an Avon representative. I mean I understand the economy is bad, but I think here in the south it's a little worse. Situations like these make me miss Maryland.

Anyways, I hope to be able to update this more often. Thank you guys for always checking in and even commenting. Hopefully I'll be able to make this a more regular thing.

Even Kanye West knows...

Strength in times of weakness

As Christians we can get so discouraged when times are tough. We can feel frustrated when we don't understand why God hasn't answered our prayer. It frustrates us because we often feel like we have the right to a great life because of our faith in Jesus. This assumption often leads to great disappointment when moments of weakness comes along.

Nowhere in scripture are we told that the Christian life is going to be the coolest thing since sliced bread. We are not told that our relationship and faith in Jesus Christ is going to be like a trip through Sesame Street with sunny days.

Paul was a man that knew this well. The bible tells us that Paul had some sort of affliction which he described as "a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me" The bible also tells us that this problem (whatever it was) was given to keep him from becoming conceited (2Cor 12:7).

"Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me" (2Cor 12:8)

Just like us, Paul spent a good amount of time in prayer over this issue that was troubling him. Three times he asked God to take this problem away.

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness..." (2Cor 12 9a)

Without removing this affliction from Paul's life, the Lord solved the problem in a much greater way. He didn't end things, but told Paul- when you're weak, I'm strong! My power can be strong within you because you are depending on me, Your God, to carry you through these things.

Paul comments on this answer from God:

"...Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong" (2Cor 12:9b-10)

Paul really carries this out. He says not only does the Lord's power rest on me during times of weakness, but because of that power I have a strength from Christ. I will rejoice when my life is seeming to crumble because that only means Christ is all the more present with His grace to carry me through.

Are we going through anything we don't understand? Maybe there is a big issue we're struggling with? Perhaps its something smaller, but still bothersome? I think from these scriptures we can be encouraged and know that we are not alone. From such experiences, we are stronger because the power of God is with us. I pray that we can all apply some of this truth to our own lives and appreciate the presence of our Lord's love and grace in times of trouble.

I'm a princess.

Alright confession time! Ever since I was a little girl I dreamed about being a princess. Like most little girls I envisioned a castle, poofy dresses, and a pretty tiara sitting on top of my head. When Halloween would come around I was quick to purchase a tiara (even if I wasn't dressing up that year). I simply fell in love with the idea of being a princess. This idea carried over into my teenage and adult years as well. I mean really, who wouldn't want to be a part of a royal family?!

Ever since the LORD saved me when I was 19 years old, my life has changed. My desires and thoughts and ways have changed over the past few years. But my desire to be a princess has never changed. Then it hit me about a month ago- I am a princess!!

Now don't think I've lost it. I'm not currently dancing around my house in a gown with a crown upon my head or anything like that. But I was thinking about this- God is the KING. Numerous scriptures tell us this.

"Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you I pray" (Psalm 5:2)

"The LORD is King for ever and ever..." (Psalm 10:16)

"Life up your heads, O you gates; be lifted up, you ancient doors, that the King of glory may come in. Who is the King of glory? The LORD strong and mighty, the LORD mighty in battle" (Psalm 24:7,8)

"I am the LORD, your Holy One, Israel's Creator, your King" (Isaiah 43:15)

"No one is like you, O Lord: you are great, and your name is mighty in power. Who should not revere you, O King of the nations? This is your due. Among all the wise men of the nations and in all their kingdoms, there is no one like you" (Jeremiah 10:6,7)

We also know that God is our Father in heaven. Once we have given our lives to Him, we become His children. He adopts us as His own.

"...And by him we cry, "Abba, Father". The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs- heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory" (Romans 8:15-17)

"he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will-"(Ephesians 1:5)

Christ Jesus Himself encouraged us to call upon God as our Father.

"This, then, is how you should pray: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven" (Matthew 6:9,10)

So if the scriptures are true it works out like this:
1. God is King.
2. God has made us His children.
3. By being God's children, we are now princesses and princes!

Do you guys realize how huge this is? Our Heavenly Father is the King! When I think about this I can't help but smile. This thought takes away so much anxiety and stress. Who cares what the world says? If they have a problem with us, they can talk to the KING!! But its more than just having an amazing Father who is KING. By having Him as our Father, we are also called to a higher standard than the world. We not only represent ourselves as prince and princesses (Christians), but we represent the King.

What do I mean when I call myself a Calvinist?

This summer I came to the realization that i was a Calvinist. I find myself answering a lot of questions about Calvinism and what I mean when I say I'm a Calvinist. To avoid repeating myself or typing up long explanations frequently, I figured I'd share this explanation I recently sent to a friend that asked.

When someone says they are a Calvinist they are saying they hold to 5 theological points about soteriology (the study of salvation). This is a huge theological system that effects every other doctrine and belief of scripture (or so I believe). Its called "Calvinism" because a man named John Calvin (an early Protestant/reformer) was one of the first teachers to document these teachings in written form. Before him, the most well known person to teach these things or document these beliefs in written form was St. Augustine. Calvinists do not follow all teachings of John Calvin, just 5 specific points regarding salvation. Sometimes I refer to these teachings as "The doctrines of grace". But mostly I stick with the title Calvinist because its the most familiar term with most people. But please keep in mind, I'm a Christian and follower of Christ first and foremost. I just agree with the teachings that Calvin outlined.

What are the 5 points? They can be known by the acronym TULIP.

T-Total depravity
U-Unconditional election
L-Limited atonement
I-Irresistible grace
P-Perseverance of the saints

Total Depravity: We believe that man (apart from Christ) is in a position of spiritual death. We believe that man is corrupt, wicked, sinful. Scripture goes as far as to say man is dead spiritually. We believe that on his own, man does not desire the things of God, nor can he see them, hear them, or comprehend them. Apart from the regeneration of the Holy Spirit, we are walking corpses (spiritually speaking). We lack the ability to come to God on our own without the work of the Holy Spirit.

Unconditional election- We believe that God elected certain individuals for salvation before the foundations of the earth. We do not believe He elected everyone. We believe this election is not based on anything thing He foresaw in us (good or bad) or whether or not we had a desire for Him (because as the first point said, we can't even have that desire for Christ unless God gives it to us). We believe he predestined some individuals for salvation, others for vessels of wrath.

Limited atonement- We believe that while the death on the cross was sufficient to save all men and powerful enough to atone for all sins and all people, it was only efficient in redeeming the Lord's elect people. So what we're saying is that Christ did not die for every single person, but only those God has predestined for salvation.

Irresistible grace- We believe that salvation is wrought in the sinner by the work of God the Holy Spirit, not by man. We believe that if you are truly one of God's elect, then when the Holy Spirit regenerates you, you will ultimately come to Christ and be unable to resist the Holy Spirit and the grace given to you. Which just means- if you're one of God's elect, when He calls you, you can't resist that grace. We believe that all people are able to hear the external call of the gospel- the teaching that Jesus is God in the flesh, a call to repent and accept Christ by faith, and the promise of forgiveness. But we believe that only the elect can respond to that call by the irresistible grace given by God.

Perseverance of the saints- we believe that if an individual is truly one of God's elect and has been redeemed, then they cannot lose their salvation. We believe the elect cannot lose their salvation because it is in the hand of God, not of man. Once we are saved, we cannot part from the Father. This is not the same as "once saved always saved". That term suggests a false carnal Christianity where you can live however you want and claim Jesus as savior, but not acknowledge Him as Lord over your life, and still make it to heaven. That term almost implies a license to sin. We do not believe eternal security is a license to sin. We believe it is a gift and we should remain and abide in God's love and press on towards the goal. We believe that there is personal responsibility and that if one is truly a Christian, they will persevere to the end.

If anyone has a question about a specific point or would like some scriptural proof for a specific point, please let me know. I will do my best to reply as quickly as possible.

Direction of my blog

If this blog was a small child I'd hope to be deemed as an unfit mother. I've forgotten about it really. I'd like to redeem the relationship that I've developed with this blog though. Even my expression of small thoughts about theology or philosophy always left me feeling so happy. I miss that happiness. It kept me balanced in my mind. I hope to write something, anything really, sometime this week. If there is anyone that still follows this blog I thank you. I hope to fix it and give you something worth reading.

If you're interested, follow my new poetry blog. You can find it on my profile. I've been writing poetry lately. It rhymes a little too much, but other than that, I'm quite happy with it. I hope to have that blog setup and running by Monday morning.

Amazing Grace 2- oh yeah!!

So I know I haven't been around much lately. I've gotten so lazy with this blog. I've been promising at least one blog on Catholicism for a while now. That posting is sitting in the draft box, still incomplete. But I've been taking some time out to study the Word more and I hope to have that blog completed and available for you guys to read by no later than Thursday. So please check back. I'd also like to warn you guys- I doubt I'm taking the direction you expected me to take with the Catholic post I'm working on.

Now for the real reason why I'm posting right now- I learned last night that in 2010 "Amazing Grace 2: The Foundations Of Reformed Theology" will be released on DVD. This is such awesomeness!! The first DVD, "Amazing Grace: History and Theology of Calvinism" was so great. It served as an excellent introduction into the world of soteriology and covered the basics from a Calvinist perspective. I highly recommend this DVD for anyone who is seriously trying to examine Calvinism.

As for the second film it will cover the 5 Solas and why the Reformers insisted on them. But the brief preview I read says that they will cover some of what has plagued the Church and it mentions "emotional experientialism". While I haven't seen this DVD yet, I'm pretty sure that section is going to be about the Charismatic movement or Pentecostal Churches and the emphasis they place on emotion. So I probably won't be super fond of that section since I do come from a Pentecostal background. I think there is plenty of room for the Pentecostal faith within the realm of Calvinism, but I seem to be one of the rare few that holds this belief. But other than that, I'm super excited to see this DVD.

I know this is kind of geeky of us, but my friend Daniel and I are eagerly awaiting the release of this DVD. Daniel and his wife Becky are both Calvinists. While I'm not yet a Calvinist, I appreciate Calvinism and view it as a consistent system of soteriology that will effect your entire system of theology. But Reformed theology is more than just Calvinism and I'm happy to see another resource explaining this. I only wish 2010 was closer so I could start counting down the days til I watch this.