A new Christina

Taking the ACTs, need your prayers

2012-01-20T04:47:00.000-08:00

I've been praying about going to college. This has been a dream of mine for many years now, and I'm ready to make that dream become a reality. So I'm taking my ACTs on February 11th. This gives me about 3 weeks to study and prepare. I realize this isn't much time to prepare but I'm stepping out in faith and placing this in God's hands. This test is very important because my score could help me qualify for scholarships to cover my schooling. A good score could mean a good portion of my tuition is covered.

So I'm asking you guys for help. I pray that the Lord will bless my efforts and help me do well on this test. I'm praying for high test scores. If you guys feel led to pray or fast anytime within the next few weeks, I'd greatly appreciate it. I'm believing that God will work this out and give me favor. I pray that Christ will be glorified by my efforts and I'm already praising Him for what He's going to do. Once I get my scores back I'll post another blog and you guys can celebrate God's faithfulness with me.

Thank you for allowing me to be transparent.

2012-01-07T17:24:00.000-08:00

I hate when someone asks me "How are you doing?"

I realize this is common small talk and a standard greeting in most conversations. But when things are difficult or you're having a bad day it can be hard to answer that question. People always want to hear "I'm doing great" and I love being able to provide that answer honestly. But what about those seasons when things are difficult? I mean I want to say "I'm doing well" because I realize I'm so incredibly blessed. I realize that I have a billion things to be grateful for and that if I focused on these things I would more than likely celebrate this standard greeting as a way to glorify and praise God. But sometimes the hard times can blind you and you're left feeling not so great.

Lately it seems like I've been facing a series of storms. I'm really looking forward to the end of this stormy season in my life. Some of you guys have an idea of what the weather is like in my life. Others are well informed when it comes to some of the storms I've been facing. I want to let you guys know I value your presence in my life. You don't realize how much I appreciate the way you guys allow me to be transparent about my life. I feel so incredibly blessed to have friends that call me up or text me just to say "hi". I feel so blessed to learn that some of you guys are praying for me on a regular basis. I feel so blessed knowing that you guys love me and are anticipating the end of this stormy season in my life.

Thank you. When I consider the great friends I have, it makes it very easy for me to say "I'm doing well."

Tyler Perry Repost

2012-01-05T09:29:00.000-08:00

I like Tyler Perry, a lot. He has made me laugh so many times. So today when he posted this status on facebook (yeah, I follow him on facebook) it caught me off guard. It was exactly what I needed to hear at where I'm currently at in life. I believe Tyler Perry definitely spoke God's heart with this. Enjoy!

OK,

To all of you that use the cell phone light like I do, I just want to say this. For me, as I was walking through my dark house trying to get to my bedroom, it was truly an exercise in faith. I could only see the light at my feet. I had to trust that even though I could only see three feet in front of me, if I kept following this light, I would get there.

It reminded me of a scripture in the bible, Psalm 119:105 "The word is a lamp unto my feet and a light into my pathway." Back in those days when people would travel through the night, they would use little lamps that were attached to their feet. The lamp only gave them enough light to see just a few steps in front of them. As long as they kept moving, they could find their way. If they stopped moving, so did the light.

This moved me because this is how I have lived my entire life. I have always walked by faith. Sometimes there was only a little light, a little hope that kept me moving. There were so many times that I didn’t know how I was going to make it. So many times I didn’t know where my next meal was coming from, if my hope would be realized or if my dreams would come true. But no matter how dark it got, I kept moving. That is one of the keys to making your dreams come true. JUST KEEP MOVING FORWARD!

If you’d allow me to, I’d like to challenge you to do more of that this year. Live by faith! No matter what you see happening around you, no matter how dark it may be, follow the lamp at your feet that God provides to us all, no matter who we are. A small step is still a step forward.

At the top of every year, I stop and go away to reflect. I will usually take out my journal and read over some of the past years and look at all the things God brought me through, no matter how dark the times. What rereading my journal taught me is that there was always a lamp at my feet. I think if you look at your life, you’ll see a lamp too. :-) If you don’t, look closer. I promise you it's there!

If you’re struggling in any way, financially, school, business, relationships, children, sickness, heartache, I so believe that God will be a light unto your pathway. IF YOU LET HIM!! Stop looking for the light at the end of the tunnel and look at the light at your feet and you’ll get there.

I hope you remember this every time you use your cell to light a path. God Bless you in 2012! You can make this your best year yet, through faith.

Restoration is on the way... again.

2012-01-03T14:32:00.000-08:00

From the fall of 2010 to the early parts of 2011 my family and I were going through a season of brokenness. Jobs were lost, our home was lost, we ended up moving to a different city and this took us away from our Church, I was no longer able to serve in youth ministry, nor was my family able to serve in their areas of ministry, health issues overwhelmed us, our vehicle was having issues, we had no money, we had to do without more than once, and we were temporarily living in a horrible environment as we tried to get back on our feet. To say our faith was merely shaken would be a horrible lie. For a few people in my family there was a season of spiritual backsliding. Sadness overwhelmed us day in and day out. It was hard to look past our circumstances.

I tried my best to be strong and try to stay encouraged during this time. Since we were now living in Cleveland I decided to visit a larger Church in our area, Living Word. I had been there once or twice before and God had really blessed me during this time. The Church offers cards to write your prayer requests on, then they gather them and pray over these requests throughout the week. Knowing this, I decided to write our my prayer request in advance on a piece of notebook paper. One page quickly turned to four pages as I poured my heart out on that paper. When I arrived at the Church I asked one of the greeters to pass my written prayer request along to one of the pastors.

When it came to the part of the service where they collect the prayer requests I decided I might as well turn in one more request. Not knowing how I could express everything on my heart, I quickly wrote the word "Restoration" on my card and handed it in. After the service had ended there was a group of men and women still at the front of the Church praying for those who wanted prayer. These people were so incredibly welcoming and kind and they were quick to join me in prayer. There was such a heaviness on my heart, I was being weighed down by all of my circumstances. During our time of prayer a man walked over to our prayer circle and said he had heard from the Lord and had a word for me. I do not know who this man was, and I'm not even sure he was aware of anything that was going on in my life. But he said "The Lord has said that restoration is on it's way." My heart jumped at this encouraging word. That's what I requested on my prayer card. That day I left that service with a new hope. I shared with my family what God had said.

It wasn't long after that things did start being restored in my life. Provisions were made for bills, food, our vehicle was fixed, my stepfather found work, we moved into a small place, my family came back to the Lord, I found work, and so did my sister, and even our health was restored. We were invited to the Salvation Army Church here in Cleveland and God even allowed me to start doing youth ministry once again. God kept His word and brought the restoration He had promised.

Why am I sharing this now? Well because I'm grateful and I know I don't give God the praise and testimonies I should. I've witnessed God's faithfulness over and over again this past year. But I'm also sharing this in hopes that you'll join me in prayer once again. The latter half of the year has been difficult. Earlier this year I had a dental issue that caused an infection, severe pain, and headaches. I missed a lot of work due to this issue and eventually ended up leaving my job. I regret this decision because it caused my family to face a lot of financial hardship. However I would've ended up losing this job because shortly after I quit, the infection came back again. So I've been looking for another job. My sister and step dad have been working hard to support our family, and things have been very hard. The other day when Amber went to leave for work the car would not start. We've had it looked at and nobody can figure out what is wrong with our vehicle. Our vehicle is older and we were in a car accident earlier this year. I honestly feel that this vehicle cannot be repaired. Due to our lack of transportation, Amber has lost her job. This leaves just Darrell working and we fear he may lose his job, too, due to our lack of transportation. I also fear that I'll have to resign from my position as a youth leader at Church due to this transportation issue.

I could go on and on about how things seem to be falling apart. But really, I'm tired of circumstances. I'd much rather brag on my Lord. I've seen His faithfulness, I've seen His restoration. I know I can see it again. I'm trying to remain faithful and trust Him. So I'm going to do the opposite of what I'm feeling right now- I'm going to praise God for what He has done, what He's doing, and what He will do! Because my God is faithful and bigger than my circumstances. Please keep me in prayer. I'm really looking forward to blogging about God's restoration in these circumstances. I'll leave you with a Scripture I feel is fitting with everything I'm going through:

"And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19

Christina talks about spiritual unity.

2012-01-02T14:15:00.000-08:00

I was discussing unity with a friend. A couple I don't know all that well recently got married and I was impressed by how they seem to be so spiritually united and like-minded. I admire that greatly. While I may not agree with this couple's religious beliefs 100% of the time, I love the fact that they're committed to them and each other. When discussing this with my friend I told him that I hope my husband and I are like that, but the Pentecostal version. I continued to go on about what that looks like inside my head and when I re-read what I had written, I couldn't help but laugh. It's funny but true. The following statement was taken from my conversation:

I want my husband and I to be in ministry and when we receive a phone call at 3AM we get out of bed and he's like "Honey where did I put my anointing oil? I gotta go cast some demons out of this guy and anoint him." and I'll all be like "babe, it's near your Bible. And I'll grab it for you. let's go handle this in Jesus name. They messed with the wrong ministers tonight."

God is writing my love story.

2011-12-22T09:53:00.000-08:00

What I'm about to share is deeply personal. I've only shared this with a few close friends. One of my friends, Gabrielle, suggested I blog about this. I put that idea on the back burner for a while because I wasn't sure I wanted to share something so near to my heart. But recent situations have inspired me to share some thoughts I've had about the possibility of marriage in my future.

I'm single. I've never been in a serious relationship before. I turn 26 in March of 2012. I recently heard a statistic suggesting that 26 was the average age of brides in the USA. I'd like to get excited about this because if I'm average, I should be walking down that aisle sometime next year. But lets face it, my plans and my ways are far different from what God may have planned for me.

I look around at my friends and it seems like most of them are married. Some of them have already had or are expecting their first child. My other friends are engaged. I know 2 couples that have been able to change their Facebook status to "engaged" recently. I was even able to attend my first wedding this September. I feel like marriage is all around me. Please don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly happy for these friends of mine. I have no doubt that God has ordained these marriages and love stories they share. But I must confess that I feel like the marriage boat is passing me by as I stand upon the dock, watching everyone else board.

It doesn't help that I'm such a cheesy romantic at heart. My friend Eric always jokes about how he can so easily imagine me laying on my bed, writing in my journal, while listening to love songs by Taylor Swift, and just sighing in agreement. It's easy to imagine (probably because I've lived out that moment more than once). I get giddy and whimsical when I think about romance. I've spent so much time thinking about marriage here lately. I daydream about my future husband, our wedding, and our family. I also get overly excited about the idea of having someone I can talk to all the time about God, someone that I can pray with, someone I can worship with, someone I can minister with, and someone I can have Bible study with. I truly desire these things.

I could easily date around and see if I meet the right guy. But that's not what I want, not at all. I think our culture's idea of dating is very flawed and leaves a lot to be desired. I'd rather just have a friendship turn to something more. I don't want to pursue someone just because I'm longing for a relationship. I want something with a true foundation of love and friendship. Because if I can't be friends with someone, I probably can't expect much from a romantic relationship.

Well a couple of months back I was praying about what God would have in store for me. I truly believe God spoke to me about dating and has advised me to remain single for at least a year. When praying about this God lead me to the book of Esther and showed me something very interesting within that book.

"Each young woman’s turn came to go in to King Ahasuerus after she had completed twelve months’ preparation, according to the regulations for the women, for thus were the days of their preparation apportioned: six months with oil of myrrh, and six months with perfumes and preparations for beautifying women." Esther 2:12

Before Esther was to marry and become queen she was prepared for a year with beauty treatments. Now I'm not suggesting that God told me to head to the salon in 2012. But I do believe there is something very special for Christian women to take note of here. What preparations are we making for our future marriages? Are we going to be ready, are we going to be as beautiful as we can be for our husbands? This is not just a physical thing. God is not a shallow God that is merely concerned about the outside. God sees our heart. I believe God also spent this year with Esther preparing her spiritually. I believe God has told me that He will beautify me both physically and spiritually this year, but my eyes must remain upon Him.

What does this mean for me? It means I need to stop trying to be such a princess when it comes to marriage. I need to trust what God has spoken to me and walk in obedience. I need to stop daydreaming so much. I need to avoid flirting or anything that could be misconstrued as such. I need to trust that God is writing my love story. So that's what I will aim to do over this next year. I pray that I will not waste this precious time, nor will I dread it. I will aim to use my every day and my every word as a way to glorify God in my singleness, and if He wills it, one day I hope to glorify God in my marriage. But for now I desire my heart to belong solely to the Lord, after all the Scriptures say:

"For your husband is your Maker, whose name is the Lord of hosts..." Isaiah 54:5

Need a hug?

2011-12-17T09:47:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had one of those days where all you really needed was a hug? There is just something really special and intimate about a hug given at the right time. There is something about an embrace from a loved one that just lifts your spirits and reaffirms your value in their eyes. Such a simple physical affection can bring so much comfort to your soul.

Confession: I'm a bit of a hugger. I try to contain it at times. But once in a while I do catch people off guard as I throw my arms around them. I've always appreciated hugs. I know I'm not the only one. One of my favorite spoken word poets, Bradley Hathaway, has a poem about how great it would be to hug God. You can find that poem here. I really identify with this. If only God could embrace us in this way and provide that comfort we so often crave.

What I'm about to share is not an original discovery of my own within the Scriptures. I heard a message preached last week on television that really left me in awe of our God. I decided to research what the pastor said and found it to be true. So I pray this discovery comforts you as it has me.

In chapter 10 of Acts, Peter shares the Gospel message of Jesus Christ. He finishes up by saying (verse 43):

"To him give all the prophets witness, that through his name whosoever believeth in him shall receive remission of sins."

This powerful message was accompanied by God's presence as we're told in the very next verse (verse 44):

"While Peter yet spake these words, the Holy Ghost fell on all them which heard the word."

Now I'd like to go back to the book of Luke. Most of us are familiar with the story of the prodigal son found in Luke 15. We rejoice as we read of the son's return in verse 20 which states:

"And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him." (KJV)

It's interesting that these 2 stories that seem very different have something major in common- the word "fell". The Greek word used here is "epipipto" and it means to embrace with affection. Just as the Father embraces his son with that much needed hug, so the Holy Spirit also hugs us when He falls upon us.

The idea of a hug from God can be a reality when the Holy Spirit falls upon us, for it is God Himself hugging us. Notice that this happened when the powerful Gospel message was shared. Need a hug from God? Speak the Gospel truth and take comfort in the presence of the Holy Spirit as He wraps His arms around you.

New Year's Resolutions

2011-12-15T19:24:00.000-08:00

Ok so every year my friend Eric and I post New Year's Resolutions blogs. Usually I end up deleting the list after a month or so because I feel like a failure when I reflect on how many I've actually kept. Though I would say that I've kept 2 of my resolutions/goals of 2011. I wanted to grow in godliness. While I'm not as holy as I'd like to be, I have noticed maturity. I also wanted to lose weight. Currently I'm down 56 pounds. I think the reason I so often fail to keep these resolutions is because I put too much pressure on myself at the beginning of the year and the slightest slip up gets me discouraged to the point of giving up and moving on. But as a whole, 2011 has been a year of change for me and I'm thankful that God has blessed me.

So here are 10 goals/resolutions I have for the year of 2012 in no particular order:

1. Holiness- I'd like to continue to grow in godliness. I want to be more devoted to God. I want to be more devoted to worship, prayer, Bible study, and ministering to others. I want to love others more than I do and really show that love. I want God to use me to serve Him by serving the Church. I want to be in love with God more than anyone or anything else. I also want to become a prayer warrior that talks to God so much that God finds Himself overwhelmed with me.

2. Weight loss- My weight loss focus for 2011 didn't really begin until about half way through the year, maybe even later. I need to work on my diet and keep avoiding those cookies. I want to spend the whole year of 2012 working on this. I want to spend a lot of time in the gym working out and toning certain areas. I also have a lot of personal fitness goals I desire to reach. I believe God has been blessing my efforts so far and I give Him all the glory for this.

3. Financial goals- I'm currently looking for a job and recently had a phone interview. Hopefully this all comes together for me. I am hopeful that 2012 will be a year where I become faithful in my giving/tithing, I'd like to purchase a car, and provide for my family.

4. IHOP- I really want to visit the International House Of Prayer and spend some time in worship there. Even a weekend trip would do.

5. Remain single- I know that's an odd sounding goal. Around the end of October of 2011 I believe God spoke to my heart about remaining single for at least a year. I want God to rid my heart of that desire for a relationship until the time is right, and help me walk in obedience. I want to stop flirting and daydreaming about romance, stop pursuing relationships, and just allow God to write my love story.

6.Hang out with Eric- So I have this friend that is like a brother to me. His name is Eric. I haven't seen him in person in over 4 years. I just need a couple days to hang out with him and laugh. He currently lives in MD, and I'm in TN.

7. Learn to speak Spanish- Thanks to my good friend John I have a lot of books that could help me with this. I've just been too lazy to pursue this goal. I'd love to learn the language and be able to minister in whatever way God would use this.

8. Perform a spoken word piece in public- I enjoy writing poetry and lately I've developed a love for word play. I want to share one of these poems at an open mic event.

9. Be outdoorsy- I want to go camping, hiking, swimming, fishing, maybe even rock climbing. If it's outside, I want to do it.

10. Read more- I've got a Kindle, I've got a box of books. I always say I want to do this but rarely follow through with it. I mean I read, but not enough to look back and say "Wow, I read a good amount that year."

Galatians 2:20

2011-12-14T20:03:00.000-08:00

Tonight at Church we discussed Galatians 2:20 which says:

"I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me."

We discussed how Christ held nothing back when it came to His sacrifice. He sacrificed everything for us, His entire life upon this earth.

Jesus was so willing to make sacrifices all for the sake of love. He loved the Father, He loved the comforter that would soon come (the Holy Spirit), and He loved those that would call upon Him for salvation. He loved so intensely, so severely, that laying down His life was proof of this. He even told us that His love was sincere when he explained that "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends." (John 15:13)

He gave it all. When is the last time we gave everything within us, everything we have to glorify God? I sometimes give God bits and pieces of my heart. I sometimes have a burst of dedication to Christ manifest within my spirit. But I feel I can honestly say I rarely (if ever) have a selfless, dedicated, truly focused sacrifice when it comes to glorifying God.

Our sin did not come free. It cost Christ everything. Now we'll never be able to repay Him. But I hope to live a life of dedication, making whatever sacrifices I can. He held back nothing when it came to His love for us. We should hold nothing back when it comes to our love for Him. Let us walk in sacrificial love for God's glory.

Women's Ministry Dropout. Yup.

2011-06-17T10:30:00.000-07:00

I'm a "women's ministry dropout." My good friend Cindy coined this term when I told her that I usually try to avoid programs that are specifically aimmed at women. But being honest, I think dropout implies that I was once heavily involved in a women's ministry. I've never been very involved with these types of programs. I've went to one service that was for females only, and caught maybe the last 5 minutes of another women's gathering. Now I have no issue with those of you that enjoy these types of programs. Perhaps one day I will enjoy them as well. But at the moment I'd rather be the "dropout."

Why do I dislike women's ministries? Well for a number of reasons really. The main reason- I don't fit in. I mean yes, I meet the general qualification- I am a female. But I feel as if these programs usually exclude single, childless women. So here is a small list of reasons that explain my issue with programs aimmed at women specifcially:

1. I'm single.

These programs are great for married women. We can sit around and talk about our marriages. We can share advice and prayers about how to build a strong, happy, and healthy marriage. We can share funny or heart-warming stories about our significant other. We can even watch "Fireproof" again! It's not that I have a problem with any of these things. All of these things are lovely. But as an unmarried, single woman- I just feel very out of place. I don't have a story about my husband, I don't have a marriage that needs advice, and Kirk Cameron's love dare doesn't mean anything to me. I appreciate the advice. Maybe one day I'll marry, and I'll be able to apply what I've learned. But at the moment marriage doesn't seem to be in my future. If it turns out that I am to be single for the rest of my life (which I hope is not the case), you could imagine that these types of gatherings wouldn't be the most pleasant thing for someone that is not happy with being single.

2. I'm not a Mom.

Women's ministries are great for mothers. All-female gatherings are a great place to learn from other mothers, sell items for your child's fundraiser at school, reflect on motherhood, or even share photos of your little angels. They could even provide Mom with some much needed fellowship or me-time. Again, all of these things are lovely. But since I don't have children, I can't help but feel a little out of place. Sure, I'll look at your photo album of little Tommy's camping trip. And yes, I'd love to hear about Suzie's ballet recital. I just don't have anything to contribute when it comes to the topic of children.

3. I can't cook.

Cooking up a storm and swapping recipes are the norm for a lot of women's programs. Food is good and I'm always cool with trying something delicious. But I really can't contribute anything when it comes to spending time in the kitchen. Seeing reasons 1 and 2, you could probably guess that I'm not much of a cook. I'm the type of girl that is thrilled with Ramen noodles or oatmeal. That is the extent of my culinary skills. So unless you'd like me to boil the water for the noodles, I'm afraid I won't be of much assistance. But if the cooking was for a good cause like raising money for the Church, or feeding the hungry- I'm ready to put on my appron and turn those Ramen noodles into gourmet Ramen noodles. I'm just not of much use when it comes to cooking simply for the sake of cooking.

4. When it comes to arts and crafts, I'm no Martha Stewart.

This reason is probably the one that I'm the least worried about. I enjoy being creative and making cute little things. I love craft stores, I love craft supplies, and hot glue guns are fun! I just can't sew, knit, or anything like that. But I can honestly say I've never made anything impressive. If we were to make these things and sell them as a fundraiser, I'd try my best. I'm not really against the idea of making stuff. It can be fun. It's just not my first pick when given a list of activities.

5. Theology, please?

Reason number 5 isn't a complaint really. I'm sure there are women's bible studies that are filled with God-honoring theology. I'm actually the type of person that gets excited about studying and discussing the Word. In fact, I'd love to find a Bible study that offers this type of commitment to the Scriptures. But I'll just throw this out there- just because we're female doesn't mean we have to discuss the roles of a wife or the book of Esther, again. We don't always have to focus on gender specific issues, of females in the Bible. Let's be real with our approach to Bible study and view it as a whole, not as something we should pick apart because something seems especially girly.

I recognize that ministry is not about me, but about serving others. So I hope whoever reads this can recognize that when it comes down to serving others I will always do my best to step up. My aim was to specifically address the non-serving aspects. Now after sharing a few of these reasons with Cindy, she said something along the lines of "Well the younger women are supposed to learn from the older women." I absolutely agree with this statement. There is a wealth of wisdom that can be passed down from the elder women to the younger women and I hope to receive these things and use them to glorify God. But I'd like to take a look at the Scripture I think Cindy was refering to:

Tit 2:3-5 "Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, (4) and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, (5) to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled."

Now of course there are things listed that I could learn from older women in a women's ministry: that which is good, self-control, purity, working at home, kindness, and many other things that are not listed. But from this verse I'd gather that the general idea was that the younger women receiving the instruction were married since it does say "...train the young women to love their husbands and children...[and to be] submissive to their own husbands..."

Funny thought though- sometimes God takes what you've thought or said and turns it around on you. How funny would it be to find myself married, raising children, cooking up a storm, sewing quilts and reading about Esther sometime in the future? But for the time being, I'll remain a "women's ministry dropout."

Overwhelm the Lord.

2011-06-17T10:24:00.000-07:00

Were you an overwhelming child? Could you take "no" for an answer? Did you bug your parents when you wanted something? When I was little (I'd guess I was in 3rd grade) I really wanted one of those mini backpack purses. I don't know if you guys remember these things, but they were so popular at my elementary school. All of the cool girls wore the backpack purses while on the playground. It was a popular trend of the 90s and I just thought these purses were the coolest thing. So I remember bugging my Mom about them. I told her how cool I'd be if I had one. I told her that everyone has one. I told her that I just need one so badly. This probably lasted for a couple of weeks. Well one day I remember my Mom called me from work and said "I have a surprise for you and your sister, so do you want blue or red?" When I got off the phone I found my sister and told her about what Mom had said. We sat there for a while and tried to figure out what our surprise could be. With the 2 color options we figured it was probably 2 Power Ranger toys. My sister and I were fond of the Power Rangers when we were little. I mean you guys know season one was awesome, what little girl didn't want to be Kimberly (the pink ranger)? Anyways, when our Mom got home that day we were so happy that it wasn't another Power Ranger toy (we already had a few). Instead, Mom had went out on her lunch break and bought 2 mini backpack purses!! Our pestering had worked! Mom broke down and got us what we wanted. So yes, I was probably an overwhelming child that could not take "no" for an answer. But my persistence paid off.

I don't think my overwhelming, persistent attitude transitioned into adulthood with me. I mean if I really want something I will try my best to obtain it. But I'm not as aggravating about things as I once was. The reason I share all of this is because some Scripture was shared with me a few hours ago and it's been on my mind for a good portion of my morning. In one of the Gospels Jesus tells a story that is meant to encourage His people to constantly be in prayer. He talks about this overwhelming, persistent attitude in a positive light. Jesus shares the story of this judge. There was this judge that had no concern for God or men. Jesus describes this judge as being unrighteous. He's a bad guy. Jesus also talks about a persistent widow. This widow believed she had experienced some sort of injustice and was not satisfied with the way things were going. So she continually kept going to this judge and requesting that he grant her justice against her adversary. The judge would rule against her, so she'd come back and bug him some more. Finally one day the judge got exhausted with having to deal with this persistent woman who refused to give up. He decided to rule in her favor just so she would leave him alone. I find it interesting that Jesus gives us this widow that refuses to take "no" for an answer as our example of how we should approach prayer. It's kind of a funny story. Persistence pays. You can read about this in Luke 18:1-8.

Now as I mentioned, Jesus did share this story to encourage us to pray and not lose heart. What's interesting is what Jesus says to close this story:

"Hear what the unrighteous judge says. (7) And will not God give justice to his elect, who cry to him day and night? Will he delay long over them? (8) I tell you, he will give justice to them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?"

Jesus says that His people will be a people dedicated to prayer, day and night. God hears the prayers of His people, and He will grant them what is right. But are we being faithful? Are we trusting that God is sovereign? Are we trusting that He will grant what is right and that He is working all things together for the good of those that love Him (Romans 8:28)? Are we being persistent in our prayer lives? The widow overwhelmed that judge. One request was not enough. Are we praying like this? Do we constantly pour our hearts out to God, requesting our needs over and over, exercising the faith that Christ desires? Don't give up, don't lose heart. Keep pressing into prayer. Challenge yourself to pray so much that your constant prayer life overhwhelms God. This Scripture teaches us that we must be persistent with our faith. Do your best to overwhelm God because if the unrighteous will eventually give what is good, certainly the source of righteousness will grant that which is better. Your request could be anything! Maybe you're praying about the salvation of your spouse? Maybe there is a financial need? Maybe you've been crying out to God for a physical healing in your body? That prayer request that seems to get no further than the ceiling, keep taking it to the Lord. Overwhelm the Lord with your requests and stay in prayer. He will give you what is best.

A Case For Dinosaurs

2010-10-15T16:35:00.000-07:00

You Won't Find That Word In The Bible!

Many Christians will often argue semantics without even realizing it. How often have you heard something along the lines of, "That word isn't even in the Bible" during a group Bible study or service at the Church? For example, the word "trinity" is nowhere to be found in the scriptures. However, when studying the Word of God it is quite clear to see that though God is One (Deuteronomy 6:4), He is triune at the same time (Genesis 1:26). God is Father (1 Corinthians 8:6), Son (John 20:28), and Holy Spirit (Acts 5:3-4) while still remaining One. The word trinity is convenient because it expresses the nature of God in one word. So while the actual term may be absent from the word the belief behind it is very present. Another example we could use would be the word "rapture." Nowhere in the Word of God do we see the word "rapture" used, but like the world "trinity", the concept is very present in the Word. You can read about people being raptured away (1 Thessalonians 4:13-17). From these 2 examples alone we can conclude that words may be absent but their very meaning is present. What about the word "dinosaur?" You will never find the word "dinosaur" in the Bible. Does this mean that they go unmentioned? Like the word "trinity" and "rapture", I hope to convince you of the existence of "dinosaurs" throughout the Scripture despite the absence of the word. I will offer a few reasons as to why I believe it is biblical and necessary to believe that dinosaurs once roamed the earth. I will also offer an explanation as to why dinosaurs are no longer roaming the earth. All scripture quoted will be taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

God Created The Earth And All It Contains

I feel it is important to explain early on that I do not subscribe to a form of evolution (whether secular or theistic). God's Word is very clear that the Lord created the heavens and earth (Genesis 1:1), as well as all it contains within 6 literal 24 hour days, and then He rested on the 7th day (Genesis 1-2:3). The Lord is the Giver of life (John 1:4) and does not rely on evolution or silly theories to put things into action. God is sovereign, all knowing, all powerful, omnipresent, and dependent upon nothing. There is nothing made without Him, and through Him all things find their source of life (John 1:3). This would include dinosaurs. If dinosaurs did in fact roam the earth many years ago, it is only because God created them and gave them their life as He did with the other animals. If dinosaurs did exist, they would be an animal of some sort. Like all of the created things for earth, the dinosaurs would roam the earth, feed off of the food provided, and fall into one or more of the days of creation. Why would they not fall into just one day of the Creation? Well God divided things up. He created the flying creatures of the air on the 5th day of creation (Genesis 1:20). This would include birds, bats, and any flying dinosaurs (such as pterodactyls). He also created the creatures of the sea on the 5th day as well (Genesis 1:21). This would include fish, squid, shrimp, and any sea dinosaurs (such as the plesiosaur). Then God created land creatures on the 6th day (Genesis 1:24-25) which would include cattle, bears, or any land dinosaurs (such as the tyrannosaurus rex).

If Only The Bible Said "Dinosaur"

You may be wondering why the word "dinosaur" is never found within the Scriptures. John Wycliffe (nicknamed "The Morning Star of the Reformation") was the first person to translate the Bible into the English language around 1382. In the year 1535, the Coverdale Bible was printed in English (translated by Miles Coverdale). The word "dinosaur" is a newer word that did not exist until the 1800's. The absence of the word is quite understandable when you consider the dates given above.

Dragons?

So what scriptural words would lead me to believe that dinosaurs once existed? The first word we'll examine is "dragon" which is used numerous times throughout the Bible. In the New Testament we see the word "dragon" mentioned 13 times. I've refrained from using the New Testament usages of the word "dragon" because every usage takes place within the book of Revelation. We are told in Revelation 12:9 "And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him." We are also told Revelation 20:2 "And he laid hold on the dragon, that old serpent, which is the Devil, and Satan, and bound him a thousand years,". These verses tells us that the dragon in Revelation is Satan. While I do believe it is possible that the dragons mentioned in Revelation could be Satan in the form of literal dinosaur-like creature, I cannot use these verses honestly due to my admitted ignorance of eschatology and interpretation of the book of Revelation.

In the Old Testament you will find the word "dragon" 22 times. There are 3 Hebrew words that "dragon" is translated from. The first word given is tan (pronounced just like it looks, tan). Strong's Hebrew and Greek dictionaries offers the following definition:
From an unused root probably meaning to elongate; a monster (as preternaturally formed), that is, a sea serpent (or other huge marine animal); also a jackal (or other hideous land animal): - dragon, whale. Compare H8577.

The 2nd word given for "dragon" when looking up the Hebrew is tannah (pronounced tan-naw'). Strong's offers the following definition:
Probably feminine of H8565; a female jackal: - dragon.

The 3rd and final Hebrew word used for "dragon" is tanniyn tanniym (pronounced tan-neen', tan-neem'). This following definition is offered:
(The second form used in Eze_29:3); intensive from the same as H8565; a marine or land monster, that is, sea serpent or jackal: - dragon, sea-monster, serpent, whale.

When researching this topic I came across something very interesting in regards to that last hebrew word. Many people think Genesis is silent when it comes to the subject of dinosaurs, but I've found something very different. In Genesis 1:21 God's word says, "And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that it was good." If you check the hebrew word for whale, you'll discover this is the same word listed above, "tanniyn tanniym." So while the the King James Version translates this word as whale, it could just as easily be translated as dragon, sea-monster, serpent, or jackal. I wondered if this word that is rendered "whale" could've been some sort of fish, so I decided to compare it to the great fish that swallowed Jonah in the book of Jonah, 1:17. I found that the hebrew word for fish (dag da'g, pronounced dawg dawg) is quite different from the word rendered as whale. So the creature mentioned in Genesis 1:21 and Jonah 1:17 are quite different. Perhaps a better english translation would be "sea monsters" or "dragons."

You may also have noticed that this creature (the dragon) is commonly described as being some sort of jackal or monster. It seems unclear what exactly this creature is based on the Hebrew. Based on the descriptions offered within Scripture I've gathered a few things about this dragon.

1. Some dragons were water animals (Psalm 74:13, 148:7, Isaiah 27:1, Ezekiel 29:3).
2. Some dragons resided on dry land (Isaiah 35:7, 43:20, Jeremiah 19:11, Jeremiah 10:22, Jeremiah 49:33, Jeremiah 51:37, Malachi 1:3).
3. Dragons are wild beasts (Isaiah 13:22).
4. Dragons are known for their loud cries or roars (Job 30:29, Isaiah 13:22, Micah 1:8).
5. Dragons are large animals capable of devouring large creatures (Jeremiah 51:34).
6. The dragon is paired with another creature I've mentioned, the Leviathan (Isaiah 27:1).

Scripture and the descriptions given within it allow us to logically believe that dinosaurs are referred to as "dragons" in the Old Testament.

Behemoth?

The 2nd word I'd like to examine is "Behemoth." This word is used only 1 time throughout Scripture (Job 40:15) and it is then followed up with a lengthy description of this creature. The hebrew word is "bhemoth" (pronounced be-hay-mohth'). Strong's offer's the following definition:
a water ox, that is, the hippopotamus or Nile horse: - Behemoth.

Job 40:15-24 "Behold now behemoth, which I made with thee; he eateth grass as an ox. (16) Lo now, his strength is in his loins, and his force is in the navel of his belly. (17) He moveth his tail like a cedar: the sinews of his stones are wrapped together. (18) His bones are as strong pieces of brass; his bones are like bars of iron. (19) He is the chief of the ways of God: he that made him can make his sword to approach unto him. (20) Surely the mountains bring him forth food, where all the beasts of the field play. (21) He lieth under the shady trees, in the covert of the reed, and fens. (22) The shady trees cover him with their shadow; the willows of the brook compass him about. (23) Behold, he drinketh up a river, and hasteth not: he trusteth that he can draw up Jordan into his mouth. (24) He taketh it with his eyes: his nose pierceth through snares."

The identity of "behemoth" has been debated for many years. Strong's dictionary and many others believe "behemoth" to be the hippopotamus. This cannot work when you consider verse 17. Behemoth is a large creature with a large tail. His tail is so large that it's movement is compared to a cedar tree. A cedar tree is a mighty, large, pillar-like tree that is mentioned being in Lebanon frequently in the Old Testament. A hippopotamus has a tail similar to a pig. Verse 19 says "He is the chief of the ways of God..." which is an interesting statement. Every commentary, preacher, and comparison of the hebrew language suggests this means that this creature is the largest and tallest creature God has created. It is obvious that the hippopotamus does not live up to this description, but the dinosaur sure does. The dinosaur known as the brachiosaurus is believed to have been one of the larger dinosaurs that once roamed the earth. It's estimated that they were as tall as 40 ft. and weighed as much as 78 tons. More than likely, "behemoth" is a dinosaur.

Leviathan?

The 3rd and final word I'd like to examine is "leviathan." Leviathan is mentioned 5 times by name in the Old Testament. In hebrew, the word leviathan is livyathan (pronounced liv-yaw-thawn) and it is given this definition according to Strong's:
a wreathed animal, that is, a serpent (especially the crocodile or some other large sea monster); figuratively the constellation of the dragon; also as a symbol of Babylon: - leviathan, mourning.

Job 41:1-34 "Canst thou draw out leviathan with an hook? or his tongue with a cord which thou lettest down? (2) Canst thou put an hook into his nose? or bore his jaw through with a thorn? (3) Will he make many supplications unto thee? will he speak soft words unto thee? (4) Will he make a covenant with thee? wilt thou take him for a servant for ever? (5) Wilt thou play with him as with a bird? or wilt thou bind him for thy maidens? (6) Shall the companions make a banquet of him? shall they part him among the merchants? (7) Canst thou fill his skin with barbed irons? or his head with fish spears? (8) Lay thine hand upon him, remember the battle, do no more. (9) Behold, the hope of him is in vain: shall not one be cast down even at the sight of him? (10) None is so fierce that dare stir him up: who then is able to stand before me? (11) Who hath prevented me, that I should repay him? whatsoever is under the whole heaven is mine. (12) I will not conceal his parts, nor his power, nor his comely proportion. (13) Who can discover the face of his garment? or who can come to him with his double bridle? (14) Who can open the doors of his face? his teeth are terrible round about. (15) His scales are his pride, shut up together as with a close seal. (16) One is so near to another, that no air can come between them. (17) They are joined one to another, they stick together, that they cannot be sundered. (18) By his neesings a light doth shine, and his eyes are like the eyelids of the morning. (19) Out of his mouth go burning lamps, and sparks of fire leap out. (20) Out of his nostrils goeth smoke, as out of a seething pot or caldron. (21) His breath kindleth coals, and a flame goeth out of his mouth. (22) In his neck remaineth strength, and sorrow is turned into joy before him. (23) The flakes of his flesh are joined together: they are firm in themselves; they cannot be moved. (24) His heart is as firm as a stone; yea, as hard as a piece of the nether millstone. (25) When he raiseth up himself, the mighty are afraid: by reason of breakings they purify themselves. (26) The sword of him that layeth at him cannot hold: the spear, the dart, nor the habergeon. (27) He esteemeth iron as straw, and brass as rotten wood. (28) The arrow cannot make him flee: slingstones are turned with him into stubble. (29) Darts are counted as stubble: he laugheth at the shaking of a spear. (30) Sharp stones are under him: he spreadeth sharp pointed things upon the mire. (31) He maketh the deep to boil like a pot: he maketh the sea like a pot of ointment. (32) He maketh a path to shine after him; one would think the deep to be hoary. (33) Upon earth there is not his like, who is made without fear. (34) He beholdeth all high things: he is a king over all the children of pride."

The description given here is quite thorough and leaves little to the imagination. You can clearly see that this creature is a dinosaur. But if the Scripture alone does not convince you, I'd like to pay special attention to verse 20 which says, "Out of his nostrils goeth smoke, as out of a seething pot or caldron." I cannot think of any animal known to man that has smoke proceeding from it's nostrils except a dragon/dinosaur. This Scripture gives us no option but a dinosaur of some sort.

What Happened To The Dinosaurs?

If we are now convinced that dinosaurs once roamed the earth, we must then ask the next question that follows: what happened to the dinosaurs? Well we must realize that dinosaurs were on Noah's ark because God sent at least 2 of every land-dwelling, air-breathing animal upon the ark. Since dinosaurs are animals, this would include them as well. Many people believe that once the flood was over, the environmental changes were so drastic that the dinosaurs slowly started dying out. Another verse suggests that God had a part in the extinction of the dinosaurs. We read in Job 40:19, "He is the chief of the ways of God: he that made him can make his sword to approach unto him." As powerful and mighty as a dinosaur may have been, it was still in subjection to the Lord. God caused this creature to go extinct.

A Necessary Conclusion

In closing, I believe Scripture speaks very loudly and tells us that dinosaurs were once upon the face of the earth. If Scripture isn't enough evidence for us, we still have the fossil record. We cannot logically deny the existence of dinosaurs when we have such a huge fossil record that says otherwise. Bones suggest that there was once something living. Life suggests that God created these creatures. I heard a Pastor once say that he had heard someone say that the bones were placed on earth by God, in order to trick us. This person suggested that the bones are part of some sort of lie, a deception, given to unbelievers. God is not a trickster, He is a Holy and loving God. We seriously cannot believe such nonsense. Christians and the Church are mocked enough as is, denying something we have clear evidence of only makes Christians look uneducated and ignorant of what archaeology has proven over and over again. We must also consider the fact that just about every culture has some ancient story of a giant creature, a terrible lizard. Some of these creatures even blow fire. Is it so crazy to believe that these stories are based on some truth (much of which is verified in Scripture)? These stories did not come out of thin air, but must've been based on something that was once seen by the eyes of humanity.

Can you guess his soteriological views?

2010-06-26T08:42:00.001-07:00

I bought a theological dictionary at a used bookstore the other day. I didn't get super picky or spend much time selecting a good one. I saw the price of $3.75 and that was good enough for me.

So then I take it home and I'm a bit disappointed with it. It's not the most thorough dictionary, the definitions don't go too far, and there are a bunch of terms or phrases I'd like to see within it. But my disappointment faded away when I read the definition of "Calvinism." When I shared this definition with a friend of mine that is Eastern Orthodox his reaction was, "Christina, you're making this up. It doesn't really say that." But oh yes, it does. My favorite parts (the obviously biased parts) are in bold print. Even as a Calvinist, this is just funny. Enjoy.

"Calvinism/Calvinist

John Calvin was born in France in 1509. He was one of the foremost of the Reformers.

Calvin taught no new doctrines. He simply put into systematic form (in his book 'The Institutes of the Christian Religion') the whole range of the doctrines of the Scriptures.

A Calvinist believes all that the Bible teaches about God and the human race. Calvinism emphasises the sovereignty of God about the sinful nature of mankind because the Bible teaches these doctrines..."

Gee I wonder if this guy is a Calvinist? So awesome.

"A Thousand Angry Panthers" by Bradley Hathaway (REVIEW)

2010-06-26T06:49:00.000-07:00

Less than a year after releasing the album "A Mouth Full of Dust", Bradley is at it again. Bradley Hathaway's newest EP, "A Thousand Angry Panthers" has conversed with my heart. I could attempt to persuade you into purchasing this EP by rating it with a system of stars. But stars can't explain why I fell in love with the 4 songs that have been on repeat for about a week now. Hathaway has done something incredible. Within a mere 4 songs he has released an unfortunately accurate assessment of the depraved condition of mankind and it's heart-wrenchingly desperate need for a salvation that can only come through a wholly surrendered relationship with the Divine, a relationship with Jesus. Enveloped within the sounds of music that composed scenes of brutal honesty, Hathaway has written lyrics that invite you to sit down and enter into the scene of 4 amazing stories that all share the same message- the world and the dim life within it are screaming out for restoration and saving.

The thing that drew me into this EP was the story telling that took place within the lyrics. Bradley did not paint pictures with lofty language. Instead, using simple wording he was able to portray vivid pictures of a world saturated in habitual darkness. The opening track "She Was Raised By A Man With A Sickness" requires you to close your eyes and feel the deepest sorrows as guitars and other stringed instruments play a somber tune that accompany Bradley as he sings of a broken young woman. He offers the story of a woman that's been abused and belittled into believing the lies that she is worth nothing. She even refuses to embrace the pure love of the Divine because of her own estimate of her self-worth. Hathaway sings, "How could He dare? To love her, the unlovable, it just didn't seem fair." This reflection on the worth of mankind is frightening and convicting. Lyrics like these resonate within the heart of every believer at one point and this song leaves every broken person with a mirror reflecting some sort of shatteredness.

As we leave the first song we are welcomed into a more peaceful, upbeat sound with the second song "Carolina." Bradley sings of an exhaustion he's experienced but places it all within perspective when he shares why the exhaustion has not led to frustration. "I thought I heard a trumpet sound, I looked above and I looked around, thought maybe my Savior was coming back for me..." Such lyrics express a hope and a confidence that all these earthly exhaustions are more than worthwhile in comparison to the eternal future that lies ahead. The lullaby-like sounds of the instruments encourage you to drift away into the glorious hope that "...the wind brings You closer."

The third track "Would You Think Less Of Me" aligns perfectly with other messages offered in the previous two songs. As Hathaway repeats the exhaustion of being on the edge of breaking, you feel the seriousness and despair brought forth. Thoughts such as,"...I'm as tired as the winter branches, and the trees in the field, and for so long I've had to carry such a load..." are paired with a glimmer of hope as Hathaway reflects upon the passing of his Grandma. He sings, "...she smiles and her eyes open wide and she says she sees Jesus and the angels by her side" and you can't help but feel the overwhelming hope that we can only see dimly at the moment.

The fourth and final song "The World Is Screaming" is a musical masterpiece. Everything from the instrumentation, to the lyrics, to Bradley's unique vocals makes you want to join in as he and the world scream for something more. The simple yet full introduction almost produces the feeling of a wind or storm approaching. Bradley's voice breaks through the introduction and reveals the wicked and dark state of the world as he sings about problem after problem from a list that seems never-ending. Your heart can't help but break as he forces the listeners to acknowledge the mess this world is in. After being confronted with the numerous problems, Hathaway offers a veiled hope with the lyric, "We're all waiting for a Messiah to come, but we can't agree on who He is and which is the One." He then falls back into and repeats the all too true observation, "and the world is screaming." As the music continues to intensify, Hathaway parts ways with that veiled glimmer of hope. He trades it in for something, or should I say Someone, that can and will fix everything. He is not shy about the One that can rescue us, nor does he try to be. He confidently sings the life story of a mighty conqueror, a deliverer, a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. Even though Bradley is only singing it's like you can hear him screaming inside, screaming a profound and life-changing truth of a God that is Love. "...His Father was good, His Father had a plan, so He raised Him back to life, now He's sitting at His right hand, He listens to us, He hears our pleas, and He joins with us, on our knees" is followed by Bradley singing "...and the world is screaming" over and over and over again as the music turns into a beautiful chaos that resembles the sound of a screaming generation. The bold drumming that closes the song will most likely be followed by the listener's reaction of agreement, anger, or surrender.

I will confidently say that this EP is something you cannot afford to miss. Do yourself a favor and head over to iTunes and pick up "A Thousand Angry Panthers" by Mr.Bradley Hathaway.

Bradley's Myspace
Bradley's EP on iTunes

Degrees of misery in hell.

2010-04-27T14:03:00.000-07:00

In a recent Sunday School class my soteriology was called into question. I guess it would be helpful to explain that I am the only Calvinist in my Church. I attend and serve within the local "Church of God" (a Pentecostal denomination). While there are a handful of Calvinists within the denomination, it is predominantly an Arminian Church when it comes to the issue of salvation. Shortly after I started attending services at my Church I shared with my Pastor and with a couple other Sunday School teachers my beliefs about predestination. Like John Piper, I truly believe that the ministry of a Calvinist can flourish within an Arminian atmosphere and I have no plans of leaving the Church. I truly believe God has placed me where I am and I am content with this.

Well during the class I was given an opportunity to share my beliefs more openly before the teenagers and the married couple that leads the youth ministry. My belief in sovereign grace was contested and I found myself having to answer many of the common objections that are thrown at Calvinists. One person asked me, "If predestination is true and there is an elect, then what is the point of evangelism?" Since this conversation was very explosive and energetic (question after question surfaced, opinion after opinion was offered), I was unable to answer as thoroughly as I would have liked to. But I offered two quick answers to the question. My first answer was that we evangelize out of obedience to Christ. If God tells us to do something then we surely must obey. My second answer (perhaps not a typical response) was that I believe we should evangelize all people because perhaps our message of truth could influence the lost sinners of this world to sin less frequently than they already do, even if they were to never exercise saving faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Sinning less would mean a lesser degree of misery in hell.

My first answer seemed forgotten by the time my second answer was brought forth. Jim, the husband of the married couple, said something along the lines of "there is no such thing as a lesser degree of hell." I explained that if every sin will be brought into account and judged by God then the logic follows that those who have committed more sins would suffer more in hell than those who haven't sinned as frequently. I also added that hell will be miserable for all, but some would suffer more than others.

I've given this some more thought and I must say that I still stand by everything I said within that class, especially my comment about the varying degrees of misery for those in hell. I realize my opinion is worth nothing. I hope to express why I believe what I said is true using the most reliable and accurate source there is, the Holy Word of God.

In Ecclesiastes 12:13-14 we are given these words, "The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil." If God planned on giving equal judgements based on the state of our souls (lost or saved), there would be no need to bring EVERY deed or secret thing into judgement. We see we will be judged based on what we've done and if that is so, each judgement will differ from person to person.

If we turn to Matthew 10 we read of Jesus sending out the 12 disciples (starting in verse 5). He gives them some instruction before they depart.

"These twelve Jesus sent out, instructing them, "Go nowhere among the Gentiles and enter no town of the Samaritans, but go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. And proclaim as you go, saying, 'The kingdom of heaven is at hand.' Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse lepers, cast out demons. You received without paying; give without pay. Acquire no gold nor silver nor copper for your belts, no bag for your journey, nor two tunics nor sandals nor a staff, for the laborer deserves his food. And whatever town or village you enter, find out who is worthy in it and stay there until you depart. As you enter the house, greet And if the house is worthy, let your peace come upon it, but if it is not worthy, let your peace return to you. And if anyone will not receive you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet when you leave that house or town."

Jesus then adds (verse 15), "Truly, I say to you, it will be more bearable on the day of judgment for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah than for that town."

I'd like to discuss verse 15 a bit more. Notice that Jesus expresses variations in judgement here. Jesus plainly says that although the judgement for Sodom and Gomorrah was bad, it will be much more intense for the people that refuse to listen or receive His great message of truth. The Scriptures tell us Sodom and Gomorrah were both destroyed for their great wickedness (Genesis 19:24-25). Yet Christ says it will be more bearable for these people of great wickedness than it will be for those who have sinned by rejection of Christ. It seems as if Jesus believed that the suffering of those in hell would vary from person to person based on this scripture. You can also see the same point being made in the 11th chapter of Matthew.

Matthew 11:21-24 states, "Woe to you, Chorazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! For if the mighty works done in you had been done in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes. But I tell you, it will be more bearable on the day of judgment for Tyre and Sidon than for you. And you, Capernaum, will you be exalted to heaven? You will be brought down to Hades. For if the mighty works done in you had been done in Sodom, it would have remained until this day. But I tell you that it will be more tolerable on the day of judgment for the land of Sodom than for you." If it will be more tolerable for Sodom, how can there not be different degrees of misery?

Matthew 12:40-45 also speaks of differing conditions during the judgement. "For just as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of the great fish, so will the Son of Man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth. The men of Nineveh will rise up at the judgment with this generation and condemn it, for they repented at the preaching of Jonah, and behold, something greater than Jonah is here. The queen of the South will rise up at the judgment with this generation and condemn it, for she came from the ends of the earth to hear the wisdom of Solomon, and behold, something greater than Solomon is here. "When the unclean spirit has gone out of a person, it passes through waterless places seeking rest, but finds none. Then it says, 'I will return to my house from which I came.' And when it comes, it finds the house empty, swept, and put in order. Then it goes and brings with it seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they enter and dwell there, and the last state of that person is worse than the first. So also will it be with this evil generation." Here again we see differing conditions for judgement and the last state of a person being worse than the first. If we will be judged not by what general state we are in (lost or saved) but by the sins and conditions of our heart, then we must believe that those whose last state is worse than their first will be judged more severely.

Let's also look at the parable of the faithful steward in Luke chapter 12, verses 42-44. We find Jesus talking about those who are Christians and live their lives in subjection to the will of God, prepared for the return of Christ.

"And the Lord said, "Who then is the faithful and wise manager, whom his master will set over his household, to give them their portion of food at the proper time? Blessed is that servant whom his master will find so doing when he comes. Truly, I say to you, he will set him over all his possessions."

Then Jesus informs us of what happens to those who were not ready for His return (the non Christians) in verses 45-48.

"But if that servant says to himself, 'My master is delayed in coming,' and begins to beat the male and female servants, and to eat and drink and get drunk, the master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he does not know, and will cut him in pieces and put him with the unfaithful. And that servant who knew his master's will but did not get ready or act according to his will, will receive a severe beating. But the one who did not know, and did what deserved a beating, will receive a light beating. Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more.

Jesus specifically says that there will be two types of beatings, a severe beating and a light beating. Here again we see Jesus expressing that judgement will be issued based on the behaviors and attitudes we've expressed and that not all judgements will be the same. Though both judgements are miserable, there seems to be a lesser degree of misery.

James 3:1 speaks of stricter judgement for false teachers of the Word. "Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness." How can judgement be stricter if it does not vary? Again we see that there will be different degrees of misery for those in hell based on our deeds.

"For if, after they have escaped the defilements of the world through the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and overcome, the last state has become worse for them than the first. For it would have been better for them never to have known the way of righteousness than after knowing it to turn back from the holy commandment delivered to them." This scripture found in 2 Peter 2:20-21 tells us that we will even be held accountable for our knowledge of the truth. Those who have rejected the truth will be worse off than those who have never known the truth. We can assume they will be worse off in hell. Here again we see various degrees of misery.

One of the strongest cases for the degrees of misery is found in Revelation 20:13. "And the sea gave up the dead who were in it, Death and Hades gave up the dead who were in them, and they were judged, each one of them, according to what they had done." Notice that those who are judged are not being judged for the state they are in (saved or lost), but they're judged according to what they've done. Judgement for these people will not be equal, nor will the degree of misery be equal. How do we know this? Because we know that not everyone in the world has sinned an equal amount of times, nor have they all committed the same sins.

I'd like to leave you with a short excerpt from "Theology in Dialogue" by John H. Gerstner because the author explains the subject more clearly than I do. I greatly enjoyed reading this book and Gerstner's teachings were used to open my eyes to many Biblical truths. The book is a conversation between a Christian and an unbeliever (both sides portrayed by Gerstner). In chapter 20 the Christian (C) and the inquirer (I) are discussing degrees of misery in hell. The Christian has expressed that there will be less cursedness for some unsaved people in hell.

"C: Since there are gradations in hell, then every sin that is avoided in this world will not be punished in the world to come. As our Lord says, every idle word will be brought into judgement. If idle words are avoided, then that will mean much less judgement.

I: But we must still face the fact that hell is hell. Everybody is going to be perfectly miserable there!

C: Yes. But the whole meaning of degrees in hell is that some people will have greater degrees than others.

I: But if you are perfectly miserable, what difference does it make what degree of misery you have?

C: Think about it for a moment. If God does say that every idle word will be judged, does that not mean that God will bring every idle word into judgement? One idle word will receive it's judgement and the next idle word will receive its judgement. If God says that, manifestly, He can deliver on that threat. So you can be sure that three idle words will receive three times the intensity of the divine fury than just one idle word would. It is perfectly true that the power of His anger is beyond human comprehension. If that is beyond human comprehension, the gradations of it may well be beyond human comprehension. One thing we can comprehend is this: If God is going to punish every idle word, then He is going to punish it and make it felt. How He does it may be a mystery, but we know that He can do it. Consequently, it is important to keep the number of those idle words (and other sins) to a minimum, even if a person does perish."

Update

2010-02-17T07:30:00.000-08:00

I have not been neglecting this blog willingly. It seems like every time I say "I'm gonna post this or that", something happens. I've been without regular Internet access for a while now. I am able to get on and check emails and messages via the mobile phone but it's not all that great. Hopefully I can get Internet again soon.

But I'd like to give you a brief update of some of the activities in my life. I am happy to say that I finally found a Church in Tennessee. It was less than a mile away from my home. The reason I did not find it sooner is because our family never took the road that took us to it. My entire immediate family is now saved and we are active within our Church.

On Monday nights our Church offers it's building for the use of a program called "Overcomers Outreach." This is a faith-based /alcohol recovery program. Many of the members that attend are court-ordered to do so. Our pastor encourages the Church to come out and support this ministry. After attending one of these courses I realized what a powerful ministry it is. I try to attend these classes on a regular basis. I pray for others while I'm there, I may share a scripture or two that applies to the message, and sometimes I simply listen to what others have to say. It may not seem like much, but I appreciate being able to help out in whatever way I can. After Overcomers ends, there is another class (Anger Management). I attend this one as well in hopes of being able to help out and minister to someone. I love these classes. The people are so sweet and while some of the attendees are saved, quite a few are not. It's an amazing way to present the Gospel.

I've also been getting back into youth ministry. Our Church recently had a youth night. We had a bonfire, food, games, and I got to share a message. I felt like it was a great way to bond with the kids. I've also been helping out in the teen Sunday school class. Jim and Margarita (the youth directors) are allowing me to plan the next couple of lessons for the teens. The subject? The sacrifices of the Old Testament, the New Testament, and how they apply to us. We'll eventually start having a weekly youth night for the teens. I cannot tell you how excited I am about this! The last weekly youth night I was actively involved with was when I lived in Maryland a couple of years ago.

I've been reading a lot more. I'm currently reading a book called "Tactics: A Game Plan For Discussing Your Christian Convictions" by Gregory Koukl. This book is not so much a witnessing style, as it is a conversation plan. It teaches you how to really listen to what others say, and expose their words and message for what it really is. Since reading this book I've learned that many people use words so lightly and our conversations are so full of slogans and cliche little phrases that have very little thought behind them. I'd suggest checking this book out if you get a chance. It's a quick read I've found to be very helpful in my every day life. I've also been working my way through "Institutes of The Christian Religion" by John Calvin (though it's been on the back burner for a bit since I've been busier than usual), and I have a good amount of books by R.C. Sproul that I need to finish.

Mikey turns 9 years old tomorrow. He's adorable as ever. He's recently discovered that he can film little video clips on Amber's laptop and edit them using the movie-maker program. We recorded a talk show with a puppet last night. He especially loved being able to add his favorite song to the beginning of the clip with an opening caption introducing the show.

Amber and I would like to start witnessing again. For a while there we were walking around our town and sharing our faith with whoever would talk to us. But since it's been so cold this past month or so, we haven't been doing it. I've got a good amount of tracts though and as it warms up, I'd like to start passing them out. At Church we're actually doing a series on evangelism for the teens. Perhaps we could have some sort of day to get together and have some evangelistic community outreach.

Last night we went to court (yeah... they have night court here). My dog Mr.Fancy got out of his kennel a month ago and barked at a few neighbors, barked at an older boy, and ran around the street. The neighbors got upset and called the police. When the officer showed up, Mr.Fancy barked at him too. We had to appear in court. The charge? Dog at large. I won't lie, seeing that on paper made me giggle. Since that happened, we've secured the top of the kennel (Mr.Fancy can climb and was climbing out over the door). The Judge said please just make sure we keep our dog in our yard and dismissed the case. Justice was served for Mr.Fancy.

I'm still looking for work. I've had no luck at all. I've applied all over our small town. Nobody is hiring in our town. In the Sunday paper for the city of Cleveland (the largest city near us) there was a total of 10 jobs listed. Six them were part time, four full time, and one of the jobs was as an Avon representative. I mean I understand the economy is bad, but I think here in the south it's a little worse. Situations like these make me miss Maryland.

Anyways, I hope to be able to update this more often. Thank you guys for always checking in and even commenting. Hopefully I'll be able to make this a more regular thing.

Even Kanye West knows...

2009-09-16T04:20:00.001-07:00

Strength in times of weakness

2009-09-15T20:47:00.000-07:00

As Christians we can get so discouraged when times are tough. We can feel frustrated when we don't understand why God hasn't answered our prayer. It frustrates us because we often feel like we have the right to a great life because of our faith in Jesus. This assumption often leads to great disappointment when moments of weakness comes along.

Nowhere in scripture are we told that the Christian life is going to be the coolest thing since sliced bread. We are not told that our relationship and faith in Jesus Christ is going to be like a trip through Sesame Street with sunny days.

Paul was a man that knew this well. The bible tells us that Paul had some sort of affliction which he described as "a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me" The bible also tells us that this problem (whatever it was) was given to keep him from becoming conceited (2Cor 12:7).

"Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me" (2Cor 12:8)

Just like us, Paul spent a good amount of time in prayer over this issue that was troubling him. Three times he asked God to take this problem away.

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness..." (2Cor 12 9a)

Without removing this affliction from Paul's life, the Lord solved the problem in a much greater way. He didn't end things, but told Paul- when you're weak, I'm strong! My power can be strong within you because you are depending on me, Your God, to carry you through these things.

Paul comments on this answer from God:

"...Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong" (2Cor 12:9b-10)

Paul really carries this out. He says not only does the Lord's power rest on me during times of weakness, but because of that power I have a strength from Christ. I will rejoice when my life is seeming to crumble because that only means Christ is all the more present with His grace to carry me through.

Are we going through anything we don't understand? Maybe there is a big issue we're struggling with? Perhaps its something smaller, but still bothersome? I think from these scriptures we can be encouraged and know that we are not alone. From such experiences, we are stronger because the power of God is with us. I pray that we can all apply some of this truth to our own lives and appreciate the presence of our Lord's love and grace in times of trouble.

I'm a princess.

2009-09-14T00:35:00.000-07:00

Alright confession time! Ever since I was a little girl I dreamed about being a princess. Like most little girls I envisioned a castle, poofy dresses, and a pretty tiara sitting on top of my head. When Halloween would come around I was quick to purchase a tiara (even if I wasn't dressing up that year). I simply fell in love with the idea of being a princess. This idea carried over into my teenage and adult years as well. I mean really, who wouldn't want to be a part of a royal family?!

Ever since the LORD saved me when I was 19 years old, my life has changed. My desires and thoughts and ways have changed over the past few years. But my desire to be a princess has never changed. Then it hit me about a month ago- I am a princess!!

Now don't think I've lost it. I'm not currently dancing around my house in a gown with a crown upon my head or anything like that. But I was thinking about this- God is the KING. Numerous scriptures tell us this.

"Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you I pray" (Psalm 5:2)

"The LORD is King for ever and ever..." (Psalm 10:16)

"Life up your heads, O you gates; be lifted up, you ancient doors, that the King of glory may come in. Who is the King of glory? The LORD strong and mighty, the LORD mighty in battle" (Psalm 24:7,8)

"I am the LORD, your Holy One, Israel's Creator, your King" (Isaiah 43:15)

"No one is like you, O Lord: you are great, and your name is mighty in power. Who should not revere you, O King of the nations? This is your due. Among all the wise men of the nations and in all their kingdoms, there is no one like you" (Jeremiah 10:6,7)

We also know that God is our Father in heaven. Once we have given our lives to Him, we become His children. He adopts us as His own.

"...And by him we cry, "Abba, Father". The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs- heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory" (Romans 8:15-17)

"he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will-"(Ephesians 1:5)

Christ Jesus Himself encouraged us to call upon God as our Father.

"This, then, is how you should pray: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven" (Matthew 6:9,10)

So if the scriptures are true it works out like this:
1. God is King.
2. God has made us His children.
3. By being God's children, we are now princesses and princes!

Do you guys realize how huge this is? Our Heavenly Father is the King! When I think about this I can't help but smile. This thought takes away so much anxiety and stress. Who cares what the world says? If they have a problem with us, they can talk to the KING!! But its more than just having an amazing Father who is KING. By having Him as our Father, we are also called to a higher standard than the world. We not only represent ourselves as prince and princesses (Christians), but we represent the King.

What do I mean when I call myself a Calvinist?

2009-09-14T00:20:00.000-07:00

This summer I came to the realization that i was a Calvinist. I find myself answering a lot of questions about Calvinism and what I mean when I say I'm a Calvinist. To avoid repeating myself or typing up long explanations frequently, I figured I'd share this explanation I recently sent to a friend that asked.

When someone says they are a Calvinist they are saying they hold to 5 theological points about soteriology (the study of salvation). This is a huge theological system that effects every other doctrine and belief of scripture (or so I believe). Its called "Calvinism" because a man named John Calvin (an early Protestant/reformer) was one of the first teachers to document these teachings in written form. Before him, the most well known person to teach these things or document these beliefs in written form was St. Augustine. Calvinists do not follow all teachings of John Calvin, just 5 specific points regarding salvation. Sometimes I refer to these teachings as "The doctrines of grace". But mostly I stick with the title Calvinist because its the most familiar term with most people. But please keep in mind, I'm a Christian and follower of Christ first and foremost. I just agree with the teachings that Calvin outlined.

What are the 5 points? They can be known by the acronym TULIP.

T-Total depravity
U-Unconditional election
L-Limited atonement
I-Irresistible grace
P-Perseverance of the saints

Total Depravity: We believe that man (apart from Christ) is in a position of spiritual death. We believe that man is corrupt, wicked, sinful. Scripture goes as far as to say man is dead spiritually. We believe that on his own, man does not desire the things of God, nor can he see them, hear them, or comprehend them. Apart from the regeneration of the Holy Spirit, we are walking corpses (spiritually speaking). We lack the ability to come to God on our own without the work of the Holy Spirit.

Unconditional election- We believe that God elected certain individuals for salvation before the foundations of the earth. We do not believe He elected everyone. We believe this election is not based on anything thing He foresaw in us (good or bad) or whether or not we had a desire for Him (because as the first point said, we can't even have that desire for Christ unless God gives it to us). We believe he predestined some individuals for salvation, others for vessels of wrath.

Limited atonement- We believe that while the death on the cross was sufficient to save all men and powerful enough to atone for all sins and all people, it was only efficient in redeeming the Lord's elect people. So what we're saying is that Christ did not die for every single person, but only those God has predestined for salvation.

Irresistible grace- We believe that salvation is wrought in the sinner by the work of God the Holy Spirit, not by man. We believe that if you are truly one of God's elect, then when the Holy Spirit regenerates you, you will ultimately come to Christ and be unable to resist the Holy Spirit and the grace given to you. Which just means- if you're one of God's elect, when He calls you, you can't resist that grace. We believe that all people are able to hear the external call of the gospel- the teaching that Jesus is God in the flesh, a call to repent and accept Christ by faith, and the promise of forgiveness. But we believe that only the elect can respond to that call by the irresistible grace given by God.

Perseverance of the saints- we believe that if an individual is truly one of God's elect and has been redeemed, then they cannot lose their salvation. We believe the elect cannot lose their salvation because it is in the hand of God, not of man. Once we are saved, we cannot part from the Father. This is not the same as "once saved always saved". That term suggests a false carnal Christianity where you can live however you want and claim Jesus as savior, but not acknowledge Him as Lord over your life, and still make it to heaven. That term almost implies a license to sin. We do not believe eternal security is a license to sin. We believe it is a gift and we should remain and abide in God's love and press on towards the goal. We believe that there is personal responsibility and that if one is truly a Christian, they will persevere to the end.

If anyone has a question about a specific point or would like some scriptural proof for a specific point, please let me know. I will do my best to reply as quickly as possible.

Direction of my blog

2009-09-12T05:28:00.000-07:00

If this blog was a small child I'd hope to be deemed as an unfit mother. I've forgotten about it really. I'd like to redeem the relationship that I've developed with this blog though. Even my expression of small thoughts about theology or philosophy always left me feeling so happy. I miss that happiness. It kept me balanced in my mind. I hope to write something, anything really, sometime this week. If there is anyone that still follows this blog I thank you. I hope to fix it and give you something worth reading.

If you're interested, follow my new poetry blog. You can find it on my profile. I've been writing poetry lately. It rhymes a little too much, but other than that, I'm quite happy with it. I hope to have that blog setup and running by Monday morning.

Amazing Grace 2- oh yeah!!

2009-06-12T09:16:00.000-07:00

So I know I haven't been around much lately. I've gotten so lazy with this blog. I've been promising at least one blog on Catholicism for a while now. That posting is sitting in the draft box, still incomplete. But I've been taking some time out to study the Word more and I hope to have that blog completed and available for you guys to read by no later than Thursday. So please check back. I'd also like to warn you guys- I doubt I'm taking the direction you expected me to take with the Catholic post I'm working on.

Now for the real reason why I'm posting right now- I learned last night that in 2010 "Amazing Grace 2: The Foundations Of Reformed Theology" will be released on DVD. This is such awesomeness!! The first DVD, "Amazing Grace: History and Theology of Calvinism" was so great. It served as an excellent introduction into the world of soteriology and covered the basics from a Calvinist perspective. I highly recommend this DVD for anyone who is seriously trying to examine Calvinism.

As for the second film it will cover the 5 Solas and why the Reformers insisted on them. But the brief preview I read says that they will cover some of what has plagued the Church and it mentions "emotional experientialism". While I haven't seen this DVD yet, I'm pretty sure that section is going to be about the Charismatic movement or Pentecostal Churches and the emphasis they place on emotion. So I probably won't be super fond of that section since I do come from a Pentecostal background. I think there is plenty of room for the Pentecostal faith within the realm of Calvinism, but I seem to be one of the rare few that holds this belief. But other than that, I'm super excited to see this DVD.

I know this is kind of geeky of us, but my friend Daniel and I are eagerly awaiting the release of this DVD. Daniel and his wife Becky are both Calvinists. While I'm not yet a Calvinist, I appreciate Calvinism and view it as a consistent system of soteriology that will effect your entire system of theology. But Reformed theology is more than just Calvinism and I'm happy to see another resource explaining this. I only wish 2010 was closer so I could start counting down the days til I watch this.

I want one of these one day.

2009-01-22T09:08:00.000-08:00

This morning I was watching some TV. What show? The View. Yeah I know... the jokes aren't necessary. I don't have cable so I'll watch whatever is on (if and when I do watch TV).

Anyways, they had a few members of the Duggar family on as guests. Apparently this family has a total of 18 children (I counted 17 in this picture, so this probably isn't the most recent). They have some TV show on the TLC channel. This family was new to me and I fell in love with them.

This is a Christian family. The women in this family all have long hair (trying to live in accordance to 1st Corinthians 11). From what I saw I believe all of the women wear dresses and skirts only. The family discussed how they are debt free. That blew me away! 18 kids and no debt? Amazing! They shop at thrift stores, have never had a brand new vehicle, and they even make their own laundry detergent to save money. I guess you sort of have to make your own detergent when you do 40 loads of laundry a month.

They spoke of their oldest son who just recently got married. They shared that the son and wife never even kissed during their engagement, but saved that for marriage. How precious!

The older daughters wear purity promise rings. When they reach a certain age the mom takes the daughter out shopping or out for a lunch and has a serious conversation about maturity, purity, and lady-like topics. The father also takes the daughters out and tries to show them how they should be treated properly like young ladies. They encourage their children to remain pure until God sends them the one they're meant to marry.

The couple discussed how God revealed to them in scripture what a blessing it is to have children and since that day, they've been pregnant almost nonstop. The wife said that if the Lord was willing, she'd love to have even more children.

Call me crazy but I want this! What an adorable Christian family. God has truly blessed them. I'm not saying I want 18 children. I don't have a specific number in mind. If I have one then the Lord has truly blessed me beyond what I deserve. But how great is that? Having a family that lives the Christian life and values the Bible... I don't think family can get much better than that. I'll be content if I even marry one day. Children would just be a bonus.

Yeah, I realize that posts like these creep people out. Yes, I also realize that posts like these only add to the long list of reasons why I'm single (that list is another blog for another time).

Calvinist lyrics?

2009-01-07T00:58:00.001-08:00

Its early in the AM (4:00ish) and I'm wide awake. I'm eating a bowl of chili and taking a break from reading. I've been reading through this book called "The Five Points of Calvinism" by David N. Steele, Curtis C. Thomas, and S. Lance Quinn. As I read this book I can't help but notice that the Calvinists are so very zealous about staying true to scripture, giving God all the glory, and representing Him as nothing but sovereign. I believe that zeal for God is one of the most beautiful and appealing aspects about this theological system. God is glorious, He's sovereign, He's a consuming Fire. He truly deserves more praise than we give Him.

Well I got to thinking about this song I really like called "Holy". I stopped myself from reading for a few minutes earlier and just started singing the lyrics to my Father in heaven. The song is by this band called "Exit East". They broke up not too long ago. Now were they trying to portray a certain stance on matters of soteriology? Possibly, I don't know. I doubt the guys will be searching for blogs about their music anyways so I guess we'll never know what their views were. But take a look at how beautiful these lyrics are (and perhaps you'll notice some very Calvinistic sounding themes):

"Holy" by Exit East

I could lift my hands
And sing Your praises
But that’s not justice for who You are
Lamb of God I worship You
Not for what You’ve done but,
For Who You are,

And I’ve found out life’s worth living
Happy are they that are found in You
I see You and I see all I am, cause You are

(Chorus)
Holy,Holy
the God of my will and my salvation
You are, Holy Holy
King of my desires
You are Holy

You gave your Son
So noble of a cause
To save all of Your lost
And by Your purpose in election now stands
Not by works I’ve done but
By Your Sovereign hand

(Chorus)

That song is so well written, don't you think? Even the Arminians can't deny that (insert laughter here, its a joke).

So long Todd Friel's rants, thanks for the memories.

2008-12-21T02:15:00.000-08:00

The Way of the Master radio podcast was something I really valued. It was available for free on itunes and on the WOTM website. But I have just learned (late I know) that Living Waters stopped financially supporting the radio show and now Todd Friel is hosting a new radio show called "Wretched Radio" (he also has a TV show on some Christian network I believe). Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron will make appearances on this radio show still. But it is now 2 separate ministries.

I didn't think this was a huge deal. I was like "well as long as they have a podcast, its all good" so I went to the website. They do have podcasts. But the podcasts are no longer free. You have to pay 6 dollars a month. Which means I will no longer be listening to these guys. Sure, I could pay the monthly charge. But I don't listen regularly enough to pay for it. I understand nothing is free and there are production costs, as well as an income in it for Mr.Friel and the rest of the staff, plus numerous other fees. But this seems to have come at a horrible time given the state of the economy and how difficult it is to pay for just about anything. One of the things I loved about the WOTM podcasts was that it was free and I could refer people to it without having to worry about whether or not they could afford it.

I'd even be willing to guess that they will lose a lot of their listeners. I mean they were so big on reaching the lost. How many of the lost do you think are going to be willing to pay for an evangelical program? That's never a good sign. Promoting the new books or DVDs was one thing, but charging for podcasts seems like it will eliminate the original purpose of reaching the lost. Plus not everyone has those cable channels (or cable at all) that the WOTM television program is on, so this will end up being the end of the road for many who relied on WOTM ministries for their daily supplement of spiritual nourishment.

As for me, I'll continue to support Ray Comfort, Todd Friel, and Kirk Cameron by the purchasing of their books and DVDs when I feel led. I believe these guys are strong men of God that put their heart into evangelism. I do enjoy the things they've written or filmed. But I do feel somewhat saddened by this podcast thing.

*And on a more personal note, I blame you John. I believe you just proved the "name it and claim it" nonsense as a true tested method that works. If I remember correctly just about 2 months ago you told me, "you need to get out of WOTM mode." It appears you got your wish. With that said, I think I'll be careful with my apple juice comments in the future.

Memories in a book review.

2008-10-22T14:35:00.000-07:00

Today I was on Christianbook.com, checking out this book on Arminian theology. I started to read the reviews for this book and found this:

Reviewed by Roger French (Pasadena, MD), September 14, 2007
I have gained a greater understanding of the subject and the views of both those who are in agreement with the topic as well as those who disagree. The author has written a very helpful and informative book.

Instantly after reading that I was smiling. The person who reviewed this, I know him. Mr.French was my Sunday school teacher at Pasadena Assembly of God, my home church in Maryland. This review opened up a flood gate of memories. If you've never heard me mention Mr.Roger French and Mrs.Carol French (his wife), then you're probably not listening to me. This married couple were and continue to be instrumental in my Christian walk.

Mrs.Carol is the church secretary, she was a youth leader with The Quake youth ministries, and a dear friend of mine. Shortly after I started attending church at Pasadena Assembly of God, she approached me and asked if I'd help out with some youth ministry project. I remember thinking she was so sweet and had such a lovely, bubbly personality. Between our frequent phone calls, lunches, and constant exchanging of prayer requests her and I grew very close. She is the type of person you are always looking forward to speaking with. Her personality was such a strong witness to me and really shaped my own way of speaking and thinking. She always had the right words. She was always there to talk to and pray with. Selfish is a word she does not know. This summer the Lord called Mrs.Carol's daughter Traci home. When Mrs.Carol and I were talking about this she stopped and asked me, "Hows your family doing? How are you?". That blew me away. This woman just said goodbye to her daughter but she still did not put herself first, she asked about me. Jesus Christ is so evident and alive in her life and she truly is a bond servant of the Lord.

Mr.Roger is an extraordinary teacher. While I had the option of attending another class at the church, I always went to his class. He is such an intelligent man and I could listen to him teach all day long. His approach to the scriptures was something I was not used to- he actually read what was there. I was so used to this fluffy brand of Christianity sprinkled with a line of scripture. But when I heard Mr.French teach- wow!! You mean you can actually go through entire chapters of the Bible and apply it to your life? You mean there is a history behind that scripture? I was amazed. Mr.French helped me discovery my thirst for the scriptures and influenced me to study the riches of the Word. I'd often make comments to my mother, "I wish I could have his brain for just a day"! But his intellect wasn't the only thing I admired. I remember he was teaching about listening to God, having a sensitivity to His voice. One time he opened class with an explanation and apology about something he said that could have been confusing or misleading if not further examined. He said God had dealt with him about what was said. That was such a profound thing in my eyes. He obeyed the Lord and was careful with his words, wanting to present the beauty of the scriptures in their proper deserved light.

That little review just reminded me of the great people God has placed in my life. When it comes to friends and mentors, I am rich. I can't wait to return home and see these dedicated servants of the Lord. I can't wait to hug Mrs.Carol, to take notes during one of Roger's classes, and I can't wait to be home. God is so good.

If I get in the game Jesus will make me rich?! Oh wait, you're being serious? Um...

2008-10-16T01:06:00.000-07:00

I've had a desire on my heart to blog about my experience with churches that teach the prosperity message. If you would've asked me about my take on the prosperity message that is being preached in churches a year ago I would have replied with something like "oh that's not that big of a deal, that's mostly just TV preachers". I knew prosperity teachings were wrong, but since I had never experienced such nonsense it didn't seem important to me.

The second main church I belonged to here in TN (notice the past tense) was very big on prosperity and word of faith teachings. After attending my first service I was determined not to return. But God had other plans and told me that I was to stay at this church for a season. So I did just that. After just a few services I became the children's ministry director. I taught on Sundays and Wednesdays. I knew that what the pastor was teaching about prosperity was wrong but since I was in my classroom and rarely heard a sermon there, I brushed it off.

Well about a month ago my church announced a Faith Conference that was coming up in Chattanooga. I had skipped all of these conferences in the past because the well known pastors that were speaking were names I knew to look out for. Think about false prophets, think about scandalous or objectionable preachers- chances are my church went to see these men preach. But a lady from the church asked if I'd attend so I figured one night out of my week wouldn't kill me. That evening Pastor Bill Winston was preaching (you may have seen him on BET or preaching with Kenneth Copeland before).

The event was held at Pneuma Christian Center (a very large church). I was told that this was our sister church. As you pull up to this church you are greeted by a man in a black suit and he checks to see if your name is on the list. If you are a pastor and your name is on the list you get to park in the front row closest to the church. That evening the pastor, his wife, his son, myself, and 2 other ladies from the church all rode together in the pastors vehicle. After we park, we are then greeted by another man in a black suit. He then proceeded to walk us into the church where we were greeted by a woman with another list. This woman then seated the pastor and his wife on one side of the church, and sat the rest of us on the other side away from our pastor. Everyone that was on the church staff wore matching outfits of black and blue. Just looking around at the congregation gave you the impression that the people were wealthy based on their clothing and appearances. The building itself was gorgeous and looked ridiculously expensive. The altar had columns along the back wall and these columns had awesome lightings that changed colors slowly throughout the entire service. There was also a gift shop filled with a few Bibles, tons of books on how Jesus can make us rich, clothing, flashy jewelry and things of that nature. The floors, the gold lined walls, the gift shop in the front- this had to cost millions and millions of dollars. But lets get to the real reason why I'm there- what is being preached.

Pastor Bill Winston spent a little more than an hour delivering this message about how Christians should be wealthy. He also shared stories about his jet and the banks he owns. I heard the words money, wealthy, finances, and seed. Was Jesus mentioned? Sure, He was. But not as a SAVIOR. Jesus was described as Santa Claus more or less. He stressed how you have to sow financial seeds into God's Kingdom if you want to receive financial seeds. And then an offering was taken. People cheered as they were led in a prayer about how our seed will return to us because we gave it. The entire time they were saying this ridiculous prayer I was crying out to God, "I'm so sorry. I want to cry. This is not what You've intended Father".

When Bill Winston finished his sermon Pastor R.J. McCowan grabbed the mic. "Wasn't that an awesome Word from God", he asked. I was thinking, "No, it wasn't. It was a lame attempt by man to get rich". Mr. McCowan then said, "If you want these things, these blessings, you have to get in the game. You have to get in the Kingdom by knowing Jesus Christ. Lets bow our heads and pray to receive Jesus if you are not in the game".

GET IN THE GAME? Did he seriously just refer to salvation and the Kingdom of God as "GETTING INTO THE GAME"? Yes, he did!!! This isn't break dancing!! This isn't Scrabble. This is a matter of spiritual life and death, a matter of eternity. This is not something to be taken lightly. I don't know one hundred percent if someone said a quick prayer to "get in the game" that night- but I really hope not. Not once did these pastors preach SALVATION, SIN, GOD'S LAW, JUDGEMENT, HEAVEN, HELL, THE BLOOD OF CHRIST, or THE CROSS. If anyone would have followed that silly prayer it would not have been salvation, but it would have been someone chasing after what was preached for an hour- MONEY!!! It would have been a false conversion.

Later that evening I sat on the couch and spent some time in the Word. As I read through the chapters in Psalms I came across verses like:

"Praise ye the LORD. Blessed is the man that feareth the LORD, that delighteth greatly in his commandments" (Psalm 112:1)

"I will delight myself in thy statutes: I will not forget thy word" (Psalm 119:16)

Just thinking about how blessed I am to read God's word stirred something up within my soul. I love the Bible so much and I have such a joy from reading it. Twisting it and manipulating it into some cash pyramid does not interest me one bit. I'd rather have the truth of the Word. What happened to being rich in God? Yeah, money is fun and nice to have. But God is so much bigger. God is so much greater. Money can't buy what God freely gives to us in His word. We are so blessed to even have a Heavenly Father that cares about us. But here is the modern Christian church just making a mockery of the riches in Christ. They've turned Jesus into a get rich quick scheme! Its so terribly disgusting. I always think about the church in Smyrna when I think about riches. Jesus writes to them this letter in the book of Revelation and He says "I know your works, and tribulations, and poverty, (but you are rich)..." (Revelation 2:9). He says they are poverty stricken but tells them that they are rich! If you ask me, that's the type of riches I want to seek after. I want to seek after the riches of Jesus. Not the riches of this world that fade away.

After that evening and a few other incidents I left my church and my position as children's director. I believe the Lord made a way for me to gracefully do so and I did just that. Compromising God's Word is something I'm just not ready to do, nor will I ever be ready to do that. After seeing this prosperity rubbish taught over the past few months I've realized how infectious this teaching is. So many are teaching this. This is not just a problem with TV preachers. This is a problem with many churches. I'd like to leave you with what God's Word says about these types of teachings:

"If anyone teaches false doctrines and does not agree to the sound instruction of our Lord Jesus Christ and to godly teaching, he is conceited and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions and constant friction between men of corrupt mind, who have been robbed of the truth and who think that godliness is a means to financial gain.

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness" (1st Timothy 6:3-11)

Egg salad

2008-04-27T22:00:00.000-07:00

My mother hates egg salad. She says its the food you eat when you have to go shopping and there is nothing better. Me on the other hand- I love egg salad. I think its delightful. And yes, I'm being serious. I love egg salad.

Well I had a stupid little random thought.... egg salad is a lot like me.
A lot of people don't like egg salad. They could enjoy and love something so much more appealing than egg salad. I'm like that. A lot of people don't like me, I don't measure up to what they want.

But the way I love egg salad is the way Jesus loves me. He could have something or someone so much more worthy- but he loves me. He could have died for anyone, but he died for me. I'm God's egg salad.

Who is Jesus? (I wrote this almost a year ago)

2008-04-27T21:52:00.000-07:00

Who is Jesus? That's something I've been examining. And while trying to sum him up with mere words, I've come up with nothing. How can you describe the indescribable? How can you sum up the perfect son? I've really given this a lot of thought. If someone was to ask me who Jesus was, it may take me a minute or a lifetime. I mean, how can you be brief with someone so amazing?

Lately I've been on fire for God. And living life in such a manner (the manner of being in love with Jesus) is the only way I want to live for the rest of my life. I've been studying, praying, singing, praising, discussing, and all that jazz. But with that said, I'm still at a loss for words. But I will share with you what I have come up with. Check out the book of John. This is where I got my answer.

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." (John 13:34)

So I have this down. He wants us to love each other. And he wants us to do it in the style that he has done. I continue reading John and I can't stop crying. I really can't. All of a sudden Jesus' life made me hit the water works and the tears started flowing freely. I mean, I know he loves us. I know I love him. But tonight I got so much more from the book of John than ever before.

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going." (John 14:1-4)

So I read the scripture above and stop. I reflect and try to see the bigger picture. Jesus knows what is coming. He knows that Judas is gonna betray him. He knows that his death is near. If you read John 13:21-30 it tells us that Jesus was troubled in spirit. He has the weight (and the sin) of the world getting ready to be dropped on his shoulders. Going into this he has the option of saying, "nah". He could have backed down. Or suppose he decided to go through with it. He still could have changed his mind and called the angels to rescue him.

"Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels ?" (Mat 26:53)

"If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you." (John 14:15-17)

"Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him." (John 14:21)

With a troubled spirit and all, he still tells us he loves us. He still tells us that God the father loves us. Not only is he promising the love of Him and our Heavenly father, he tells us that he is going to send us more comfort (the holy spirit). He's getting ready to die for our sins and he's still thinking about us.

And then he goes on to pray for his disciples and all believers. And in his prayer he says,

"While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe by that name you gave me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled." (John 17:12) and "My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one." (John 17:15).

Here comes death, abuse, mocking, sin, and pain. And yet he says, "protect them". So you may be reading this and expecting me to sum up the Jesus I know and love with a few words like I earlier mentioned. Sorry to disappoint you, but I can't do it. What words do you have for someone who was too busy looking out for us rather than looking out for Himself? The only word I could come up with is "perfection" but even so, Christ makes perfection look like error. He is beyond perfect.

Way too easy to fall in love with Him.

2008-04-27T21:46:00.000-07:00

What is love? Most commonly this question would be answered by the typical "God is love" taken from 1John 4:8 (Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love). But the scripture is even more clear than this.

1 John 3:16- This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers

1 John 4:10- This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

John 3:16-For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

John 15:13- Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends

Romans 5:8-But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for

And just for the fun of it, check this out- I decided to look up the definition of the word "Love" in the Merriam- Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, tenth edition. You have to see how great a couple of the definitions are.

4a: unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as (1): the fatherly concern of God for humankind (2): brotherly concern for others b: a person's adoration for God

I don't know about you guys, but I want to fall in love even more. I've been giving it a lot of thought lately- I need Jesus. More than water to quench a thirst, more than breath in my body, more than a heartbeat- I NEED JESUS, THE SAVIOR.

God listens to me, I listen to what God sounds like.

2008-04-27T21:37:00.000-07:00

On Thursday night I was talking to my friend Nicole. I told her about this idea I have and how I'd really like to go to Niagra Falls or some other waterfall. This was not something I had prayed about or even thought about before Thursday. But I really wanted to go to a waterfall. I told nobody this but Nicole.

So today (the next day, Friday) my mother wakes me up and asks, "Hey Chris, we're going to see a waterfall at this park, do you want to go with us?". So I'm a bit out of it but once I wake up and have her repeat what she just asked me I was like, "Wow that's from God right there, I just said last night that I'd like to go to a waterfall". So I get up, get ready, grab my bag, and my bible, and off I go with the rest of the family to Cherokee National Park.

The drive up there was delightful. I listened to Christian music and just kept praying short prayers. I talked with my family and really enjoyed the ride. That park is beautiful. You have to drive through the mountain to get to the waterfall. So along the way all you see is bodies of water with rocks sticking out. We pulled over at one part and I crossed a little bridge, and climbed a few rocks til I was on the very edge of the rock, almost in the water. It was so amazing. So we drive for maybe 10 more minutes and pull over at the waterfall.

I get out and as I walk over my knees feel shaky. I feel my eyes start filling up with tears. I approach a small little bridge and my mind completely empties itself as I stare at the rushing waters fall over the edge. The sound of the waterfall completely captivates me and I'm mesmerized. Immediately my mind starts to fill itself with silent prayers to God. I was so thankful. I was so grateful for the experience.

So you're probably wondering, what's the deal? Is Christina a waterfall freak or something? Why was she so emotional?

The reason I told Nicole I wanted to visit a waterfall was because of my bible studies. I'm reading the book of Revelation and I'm beyond intrigued. John, the author of Revelation and a few other books in the bible sees Jesus. And this is one of his descriptions of Jesus:

"His feet were like burnished bronze, when it has been made to glow in a furnace, and His voice was like the sound of many waters." (Revelation 1:15 NASB)

And you also read in the old testament:

"and behold, the glory of the God of Israel was coming from the way of the east. And His voice was like the sound of many waters; and the earth shone with His glory". (Ezekiel 43:2 NASB)

When I read those verses I thought about it. The sound of many waters. God's voice- its like the sound of many waters. Have you ever sat back while at a waterfall or at the beach and just listened to the water? Its so loud, so continuous, so overwhelming, yet so soothing and comforting. And that is the comparison to God's voice, many waters. God's voice is so big and so huge and so overwhelming- but at the same time- its so comforting and can fix any situation. That amazes me. After reading those verses, I had to hear some water. I wanted to feel that. I wanted to hear how big of a sound that was, and then really reflect on how amazing God truly is. It really was a wonderful experience I had today and I'm so grateful. If you've never tried this- go to the beach, go to a waterfall. Listen to the water. Then, listen to God. Absolutely amazing.

I have to say this- the Lord keeps surprising me. This sort of situation keeps happening. I say something, and then the very next day, that something happens. I mean I wasn't even praying about this. It just came up in conversation. And I know this may sound silly but the fact that God hears every word out of my mouth is an incredible thought to me. He is listening to our conversations. He is listening to our thoughts. God hears us. Even when we're not crying out to Him, He hears us. I'm not worth listening to. And I mean come on, you guys know me and how annoying or goofy I can be. Can you imagine listening to me think and talk for more than 24 hours? God does this every single day! And then He lets things happen. He makes things happen. I didn't have to see that beautiful waterfall today. I didn't think I'd ever get around to that. But God out of His overwhelming kindness took care of that situation.I don't think I could be more in love with God. He listens to me. All the time. Nobody else would ever do that, but He does it, by choice.

I want my first love back.

2008-04-27T21:20:00.000-07:00

I’ve been studying Revelation and I’ve come across this message that I feel needs to be shared with everyone. We can really learn a lot from the church in Ephesus. And right now... I want my first love back.

"To the angel of the church in Ephesus write: The One who holds the seven stars in His right hand, the One who walks among the seven golden lampstands, says this: ’I know your deeds and your toil and perseverance, and that you cannot tolerate evil men, and you put to the test those who call themselves apostles, and they are not, and you found them to be false; and you have perseverance and have endured for My name’s sake, and have not grown weary. But I have this against you, that you have left your first love." (Revelation 2:1-4)

This scripture is part of a letter to a church that was a very real place, but we can all learn from this church and what God had to say about it. I like how God writes letters. Look at what He says. He starts off by acknowledging their commitment to revealing truth. They’re not going to tolerate wicked men. And they’re testing all who present themselves as prophets. I love how God points out that He sees their good works.

But then he moves on to say "you have left your first love". But what is that first love Jesus is talking about?

I mean its easy to speculate what exactly it was that Jesus was talking about. My first love? Hmmm... it would probably be this boy named Brett from the first grade that I sat near in class. He made first grade funny with his cool erasers and tshirts with sharks on them. Ahh memories..

No that can’t be it. Why would God care about the status of my first grade crush?What about the first time I really experienced love? What about those times spent dating and just thinking about that special someone? Could that be the love Jesus was talking about? Of course not. It just doesn't make sense. Not everyone has even experienced that.

So if this isn't a personal first love that everyone has had or dealt with, then it must be a biblical first love. That word "first" must not mean a love that came in a certain order, but a love that holds priority or ranking.

So where does that leave us? What is that first love?

"Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?" And He said to him, YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND- This is the great and FOREMOST commandment" (Matthew 22:36-38)

So there it is- that first love is the love of God. Putting God first on your list of priorities. Now did they stop loving God? Obviously not. They wouldn't carry on with investigating false prophets and persevering through all the problems that the church of Ephesus was dealing with (strange doctrines, wolves holding positions in the ministry just to name a couple) if they didn't love God. They obviously loved God, but they weren't putting Him first. Jesus wasn't number one in their lives. Doctrine was.

Upon reading this I couldn't help but break down and cry. Where is God on my list? Is He number one? Has He ever been number one?I mean when I first got saved I was constantly reading my bible. I took so many notes and killed my pink highlighter by using it on just about every single page of my bible. I would listen to a sermon or even a Relient K CD and just cry when I reflected how how intense my love for God was. I was at work at least 3 nights a week. I had prayer lists going. I prayed for anything and everything. I would pray when I heard an ambulance go by, "Dear Lord please let that person be ok. If they’re not ok and they are going to pass I pray that they come to know you before leaving this world". I would watch the news and just shake my head and pray. I felt so much more guilt when I sinned. I felt guilt when anybody sinned. I watched an episode of "SpongeBob Square Pants" and I had the thought, "oh man I wish SpongeBob would repent of his sins. He should just be honest with Patrick". I mean I know this is a bit extreme (and comical even), but that's where I was 2 years ago. God consumed my every thought. I was so in love. That focus and excitement, that true intense love consumed me. I was crazy for God.

So what happened since then? I let theology take over. Sure I have a much stronger knowledge of good and bad doctrine- but what does that leave me with? My knowledge didn't die for me. My knowledge didn't cover my sins. Jesus did that. And here I sit, realizing that I’ve had a bit of a falling away from God. I haven't left God. But I pushed Him down on my list. I’ve lost that intense love.

"If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing." (1 Corinthians 13:1-3).

I mean it doesn't get more clear than that. I can have all the knowledge in the world, I can know a million doctrines inside and out- but it all adds up to nothing. And here is the scary part- I know I can’t be alone with this thought. To anyone that is reading this, I urge you to examine yourself. Is God number 1 on your list? Is Jesus that thought that makes you smile upon waking up? Is everything you do centered around the Lord? Or like me have you put doctrine first? Have you put knowledge first? Has that intensity left you? And if you are like me- what are you going to do about it? You’re left with this guilt that hurts and cuts you deep. How could I let this happen? Jesus I am so sorry. I didn't even realize this was going on. And I’m just so thankful for next thing you said in this letter...

"Therefore remember from where you have fallen, and repent and do the deeds you did at first; or else I am coming to you and will remove your lampstand out of its place- unless you repent" (Revelation 2:5)

To back up just a bit- that lampstand Jesus is talking about is our church.

"...the seven lampstands are the seven churches" (Revelation 1:20)

Jesus said that He is more than willing to work with us. He said He wants us to to repent and do those deeds we did at first, those deeds that consumed our lives upon receiving salvation. But if we don’t repent? What happens? He made it pretty clear- we lose our church. Does that mean we lose our salvation? No. But we lose that source of light to the world. We lose that shine that reaches out to the community of the lost that need to hear the gospel just as badly as we did.

"If we confess our sins He is faithful and righteous to forgive us and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1John 1:9).

I don’t want to be like the church of Ephesus. I don’t want my church to be taken away. I want to repent and change quickly. How great is our God? How great is Someone that took our place on our cross? How great is Someone that is willing to look past our own little ego trips and tell us to shape up? I don’t know about you guys but this week and for the rest of my life I want, or need even, to fall in love with Jesus Christ more and more every single day. I only pray that I can encourage you to do the same.